Ch11-6: To Know Loss
Incrytan shone in fierce multicolored light and shadow, cupped between Joran’s two palms. Her face was lit with the energies. Her eyes were glazed with exhaustion. Long streaks of blood trailed from a multitude of tiny slashes over her body. Her posture spoke of weakness, as if she was being held up by some outside force alone.
Ben felt a sharp pang in his chest at the sight of the Lunar girl. So much she had suffered. So much she had feared. All for the sake of trying to save him from himself.
She had told him that she loved him. And maybe somewhere inside of doubts and confusion, he cared for her too. Regret filled him with the realization that he really didn’t know how to return her feelings. Maybe one day he would… but not just yet.
He found himself walking towards her, despite the protests of his companions.
I’ll make this up to you, Joran. I promise.
As if hearing the fringe of his thoughts, the girl’s face twisted in an otherworldly smile. Her face moved mechanically, controlled by something that was not herself. Her voice was dull and distant, “Do you really believe you are going to save her?”
Ben’s brows lowered, his hand wrapping around the grip of his sword.
“Don’t you know that it is the fate of the people of the Dreigiau to be consumed by the Bane. They could not stop it… they merely delayed it.”
“I don’t know what all of that means… but I don’t believe in that kind of fate,” the Half Lunar glowered.
“There was a time that I wanted to think like you. But reality is cold. Truth is rarely the thing we want to believe.”
“We choose what we become with our actions and our thoughts,” Ben took another step forward. He had drawn his blade, eyes searching the shadows of the Moon’s core for any sign of the force that controlled the Lunar girl. But there was nothing.
“Is that so? What do you expect to do even if you were to defeat me, Sygnus-Half?” her lips curved up. “Don’t you realize that in time, you would only come to take my place? The Arweinydd of the Time Before called us the Darkstar for a reason.”
“I don’t believe you,” his face grew hard, forcing himself to stand against the cold words.
“Then what do you believe? In idealistic hopes and dreams?” the voice paused then shifted in tone. “I can see it in you. You are a lot like me. You long to be accepted by the world that condemns you for things that were out of your control. I have been in your shoes before and I will tell you that there is no such thing as a happy ending.”
A shiver rippled over his body as the silver words rang in his ears. Would there ever be an acceptance for the once Dark Lord? Was it just his wishful thinking that made him believe that they saw something beyond Zeromus’ pawn?
And even if he was to walk out of here alive, what would he do then? Where would his future be? In the human world… or with the Lunarians?
A low quiet laugh rose from Joran’s throat. Then, very deliberately, she turned and began to walk towards an opening between two tall pillars of moonstone. Incrytan was the only light within the dead core.
“Golbez,” a quiet voice came from behind. The voice of his brother. “Don’t listen… none of it is true.”
Caught up in his internal struggle, Ben had almost forgotten that the others were still behind him. They seemed at a loss as to how to proceed, knowing that the Lunar girl was someone that he wanted to protect. The humans somehow understood that… and had respected his attempts to sway her back.
“That’s right,” Edge added quickly. “He’s shoveling you a load of crap. He’s trying to tear you down.”
“Don’t forget where we’ve been and why we’ve come here,” Kain murmured in a low voice. “There’s too much at stake to cop out now.”
“I’m not copping out,” Ben closed his fist in a tight ball at one side, mustering determination. Grateful for the unexpected support, no matter how tactless some of it was.
They’re right.
Ben forced himself forward, moving quickly after the Lunarian girl. He could hear his companions following behind. His mind began to flit from thought to thought, trying desperately to grasp what needed to be done.
There’s not much time.
He knew he couldn’t sway Joran back to their side. Luccious had too much control over her.
Why did he bring Joran here?
He knew that somewhere within the core of the moon, the Dark Sygnus was sealed.
Luccious has destroyed all of the Crystals. Wasn’t that all he needed to break free?
Yet, the Dark Sygnus had still not appeared.
There must be something more.
The girl strode forward, Incrytan in her outstretched palms.
He’s been gathering the Crystals’ energies inside Incrytan. A wavering spiral of silvery-blue began to form in the heart of the Crystal.
Maybe with the last seals broken, he can use the combined energies within Incrytan to…
His green eyes narrowed, reflecting the Crystal light. He suddenly realized.
I can’t let her reach Luccious with Incrytan!
If that was the final thing that the Dark Sygnus needed to be released into the world, then Ben had to make sure that something like that could never happen. He found his hands tightening on the grip of Onyx, blade drawn and reflecting in a cold green light.
What had begun as a dream to revive his lost family had turned into a nightmare for the Blue Planet. Despite what it would do to him – even if it meant his own death – he knew that it had to be stopped.
I am Incrytan’s maker.
And through his connection to the stone, Ben bore the power to destroy it. To conduct the remaining stolen energy from his father’s Crystals… and repower the seals that had been placed upon the Dark Sygnus. To destroy Luccious’ chances of freedom. Though there was very little chance that Ben would survive, either.
This world is better off with a Paladin Sygnus… than the Dark Sygnus I would become.
As Ben lifted the length of his blade, somewhere behind him, he heard the shouts of his companions. Maybe they knew what he was going to do. Maybe they didn’t. The most important thing was to get a clean strike… to take out the Crystal and make sure that Joran and the rest were shielded from energy release.
Ben lunged.
He felt his breath go cold, caught in his throat.
Onyx’s flame was almost blinding as the point rose into the air.
All of his concentration was bent upon the flicker of Crystal light between Joran’s hands.
The blade blurred forward, lashing out with his full strength and will.
Then, Joran turned.
He couldn’t stop it. There was nothing he could do.
Joran turned. Purposely pulling Incrytan out of the blade’s strike.
Putting herself between the Crystal and the blade.
A fountain of crimson spray exploded across his vision. Onyx sunk into her chest, nearly up to the hilt. Warm blood, sticky, ran over his hands.
Joran’s blood.
A ragged cry broke from Ben’s lips as the girl slumped over on the end of his sword.
Her arms cradled Incrytan. Protecting it.
“NO!” he stared in disbelief, hands shaking. “NO! JORAN!”
Her green eyes lifted, squinting in pain. With the last of her strength, she pulled backwards, slipping off the blade.
“Don’t move her!” Rosa’s cry came from behind. The White Mage rushed forward, hands already grabbing for anything that could serve as bandages.
But there was so much blood.
“I… I didn’t mean… I…” Ben stammered, face horrified as he dropped next to the girl, on his knees.
“Golbez…” Joran’s voice came, a soft whisper. The voice was her own, now. The dimming light in her eyes shone the way he always remembered. She reached a pleading hand up to his face. “Forgive me.”
“Forgive you?” he echoed in shock. He caught her hand, then gently pulled her head up, cradled in his arms. “Why?”
“I know what… you were… trying to do. I couldn’t… let you destroy In…cry…tan…” when she coughed, it came up red. “You… would… die…”
“It wasn’t supposed to be this way…!” Ben’s face was hot with shameful tears. Guilt. Terrible guilt. He couldn’t pull his eyes off of her face. He couldn’t bear to look at the spreading pool of blood. “I was supposed to protect you.”
“And I… wanted to… protect you… too…”
His companions were there, around him, working as hard as they could to assist. Rosa’s hands were stained crimson as she fought to spread healing energies over the girl’s body. But they could all feel the hopelessness of the situation.
“Don’t leave…” Ben’s voice cracked as he pleaded with the girl. Pain swelled within his chest. Immeasurable sorrow.
If Joran was afraid, she did not show it. She simply offered a quiet smile and stroked his face, an attempt to comfort his grief.
He clung to her hand as if it could hold her there a little longer. If through will alone, a miracle would come. Regret… there was so much they could have done… if only he had been more aware. If only he had realized earlier how she felt.
A soft sob shook his body as Ben leaned down and touched his forehead gently to hers. Her mental response was a wave of sudden joy… as if with one quiet motion, he had made Joran happier than she had ever been.
“I… love you…” she told him.
For the first time, too late, he understood what that meant.
Before Ben could figure out how to respond, Joran shuddered in his arms. Then with a quiet, gasping sound, she fell limp.