Shadowed Self

Sun rising, dawn's brilliant light-
This should cause a heart's lifting-
It should bring the soul delight.
Yet no smile to my lips does spring-
I feel naught but despair at this sight.

Streamers of gold over gray stone-
Like the hair of she I've loved so long-
Yet here I stand ever alone-
By my choice she is from my life gone-
Until for my crimes I can atone.

Noontime, light shines all around-
A cloudless sky shines on ever blue-
Yet within me no mirrored joy is found-
All chance to enjoy such things flew-
When to darkness I was bound.

Ceiling of sapphire blue-
Like the eyes of he I called friend-
And who tried to keep that friendship true-
Only to find me false in the end...
What shall this all lead to?

Sunset, skies darken as light flees-
Gold giving way to searing red-
And now some part of me feels at ease-
The part I so wish were dead...
As the sun retreats into night's seas.

Angry lines of red in the sky-
Like blood spilling from heaven's gate-
Or the light of a ruby moon gone by-
Carrying within one I cannot help but hate...
The one who made me nothing but a lie.

Nightfall, darkness claims the land at last-
All around me the world slips into rest-
Yet to my vigil I hold fast-
For every night I pray for that test-
Some sign my sins are laid to rest at last.

Endless black with only hints of light-
My shadowed self shown in honesty-
For love and friendship became naught but a blight-
When of them I made only a mockery-
And allowed my heart to fall into night.