Chapter Nine
A white light…
Cecil was dimly aware of a bright, white light…
So bright it was painful…
A moan…his heart stood still for a moment…was it me? a light sigh…it was me…
The two slits of painfully bright light widened…
Sunlight…
My eyes are opening…he was lying down…where? His dull brain attempted to recall what happened…
The village…
The fire…
The earthquake…? But it had been more than an earthquake…and the others…
Kain?
Cecil rose quickly, too quickly…his head throbbed with an agonizing pain…he groaned and let his head fall back…nausea swept through him…what about the little girl? I don’t know…not now…too painful…
At last the feeling passed and Cecil’s forehead was drenched in cold sweat…he tried to rise again…slowly…slowly…then he was there…sitting…he drew in several deep breaths but his sides ached so he tried sucking in shallow breaths…
Now…the next step…
Standing…
His knees wobbled as he forced his way to his feet…he teetered drunkenly left and right…but in the end he remained on his feet…his head pounded from the blazing light of the sun…the sun…Cecil’s eyes had been so dulled that he didn’t even care when he turned his gaze directly toward the noon day sun…I’m here to see it again, he thought in amazement…I’m alive to see the sun again…
He turned away at last…the girl was lying beside him…he started eagerly toward her and wasn’t surprised when he ended up face-first in the yellow sand…God, please let her be alive…
He lifted one of her skinny arms…reluctantly…I only get once chance…God, let her be alive please don’t let her be dead…
Cecil sighed, nearly sobbed with relief when he felt a faint pulse in her wrist…then his eyes closed in dismay…Kain…
The dragoon wasn’t around…that was obvious…even with his hazy vision he needed no second opinion…it was clear that Kain wasn’t there…
"Kain!"
He’s dead don’t you know he can’t answer you if he’s dead…
"KAIN!"
Cecil’s voice echoed through the remains of the Misty Mountains…it seemed to echo forever…and somewhere far away someone might have heard his voice…
Cecil bowed his head, turning back to the girl…Kain, would you have wanted it any other way? He silently asked…you die, she lives…a sacrifice, man…the way you wanted it…
Cecil knelt down and scooped the little girl into his arms…she didn’t move…he marveled at how light she was…her face was so peaceful…though she was streaked with dirt and ash and soot and dust and blood, she was peaceful in that moment…
"I’m…sorry…"
Cecil whispered, a tear welling in his eye…behind him was the destruction of a town, the mountains, people’s lives…ahead of him was…a barren wasteland…the Kaipo desert…nothing…
A tear trickled down Cecil’s cheek as he trudged across the sand…
* * * * * *
Cecil plodded through the never-ending desert for what seemed like days…how long had it been? He often asked himself but he had no idea…his mouth was parched, his skin sunburned, sweat soaked him but it was the only thing keeping him cool as an occasional hot wind drifted by…the small girl in his arms seemed to grow heavier and heavier with each step…his arms had long since become numb and cold; as long as he couldn't feel the pain he could continue…he stopped often anyway…sat down in the sand to take a rest…tremendous vultures circled high in the deep blue sky…dark shapes against the unbearable sun…Cecil watched them lazily…waiting for something to die…he thought with some amusement…that's what they do…
His rests were short and infrequent…the longer he rested the more his muscles screamed at him that he couldn't keep going…besides, he was worried about the child…she was still unconscious…Cecil would have given anything to hear her voice just once…the slightest little sound from the girl just to know she's okay, he thought desperately…wouldn't it have been cute to hear a childish laugh from her as she slept, the way children often laughed in their sleep..? But, he wouldn't have minded just hearing her speak to him…I hate you…you killed mommy…I hate you…why didn't you die instead of my mommy?
At long last Cecil collapsed, his legs crumpling beneath him…the child fell from his arms into the sand…I hope she forgives me for that one too, he thought off-handedly as he lay face-down in the sand…his sweaty forehead pressed against the yellow grains…the chilly numbness in his back crept into his arms and legs…no, I have to keep going…he had no water…he could barely breathe…
But there was something moist on his face…a tear…Cecil rolled over onto his side…I have to get up, he thought in despair…God, just let me have the strength to get up and at least find some help for the little girl…after that…I don't care what happens to me…
Cecil remained sprawled in the middle of the brutal Kaipo Desert for an undeterminable amount of time…he was dimly aware of the vultures…closer? Yes…they were nearly invisible in the blinding glare of the sun…
Not yet…
…There it is again, Cecil thought…that voice that doesn't let me give up…
Without realizing it Cecil had pulled himself to a sitting position…
But it's right…not yet…I can't wait here…die here…
He was standing after a moment…a new hope flickered in him as he scanned the surroundings…
Nestled in the distant heat waves was the wavering outline of a small town…who would build a town in the middle of a desert? Cecil wondered, mechanically stooping down to lift the girl into his arms…it's crazy…
* * * * * *
"Sir, are you alright?"
A concerned voice spoke behind the dark knight, and he slowly lifted his head from the pool of glittering water in the center of the town…
"Not at all," he gave a strange laugh…noticing that people were staring at him…the girl was still beside him…Cecil haphazardly splashed some of the fresh cool water onto her face…she didn’t move…Cecil looked up…the man who had spoken to him watched him with a frown…
"Are you alright?"
Pushy bastard, Cecil thought with some amusement as he stood to tell the man that he had a headache…
The world around him darkened as he stood and for some reason the color didn't return…what's happening...? he wondered dully…Cecil's legs crumpled beneath him as he fainted beside the pool in the center of Kaipo…
* * * * * *
Cecil awoke to the sound of voices…
"--looks very sick…"
…What are they talking about…?
"--Take em to the room over yonder…"
Who are they…? Cecil thought, his mind muddled…his legs…they were actually moving…
"Don't worry bout money…"
The voice was very close…as his senses sharpened, Cecil noticed that he was being half-dragged, half-carried through a dimly lit hall…
"Where am I?"
A sudden stop…Cecil's head reeled…
"Sir, did you say something?"
If I did, I can't say anything else, Cecil thought in dismay…his head swam groggily as he slumped toward the ground; the arms that had been holding him tightened their grip and he was standing again…
"I'm…okay…"
A chuckle…
"Well, I wouldn't go as far as to say that, mister…" a kind voice claimed. "You and the little girl are in pretty bad shape…"
Little girl…?
"How…is…the girl..?"
A pause…
"Oh, she's alright…"
Another pause…
"--She could use a lot of sleep…"
She's not the only one…Cecil tried to stand on his own but found his strength was sapped…
"--And some water…she looks dehydrated…"
Cecil suddenly found himself in a larger room…lamps blazed cheerfully on the desks…and beds…is it really a bed I see? Cecil forced his eyes open…a bed…as a matter of fact there were several beds…an inn? Who cares…it's somewhere to sleep…
"Now you take it easy, sir…"
Without even removing his armor Cecil collapsed into the bed…he was aware of a figure standing nearby…placing the little girl in a bed beside him…Thank you God, Cecil breathed a deep sigh of relief…at least she's okay…I'll check on her when he leaves…he promised himself…
Cecil laid with his eyes closed, breathing lightly and easily for the first time since he left Baron…it seemed like years ago…the man who brought the girl into the room remained there for a moment, bustling around…straightening the desk and chairs…
At last the man left…the door clicked gently shut behind him…
Cecil pulled himself to a sitting position…painfully…he drew several deep breaths as he scanned the room…his sides ached…his head ached…his muscles ached…He glanced to his side and saw the little bundle under the covers in the other bed…Cecil carefully slung his legs over the edge of the bed and held his breath as the bed creaked and his own body cracked and popped…He watched anxiously to see if the girl would awaken…she never stirred and at last he breathed again…He watched her for a moment, lying there asleep…the covers rose and fell with each breath she took…What do little girls dream about? he wondered…Dolls? Flowers? Little boys?
He lowered his head…They might dream about…mothers…fathers…friends…places that they wish they could see…better places than the ones where they live…or used to live…
What have I done? Cecil looked at the little girl…maybe I should wake her now and make sure she's really okay…
He stood and started toward her bed…
Wait…
Something made him stop…
When she awoke then he would have to face her…she was alone with a stranger far from home and he was responsible and she would want to know why he…did…everything…He would have to stutter a god-awful sounding excuse that she wouldn't accept because, after all, she was a little girl…children never understand adult problems and situations…I guess that's what makes childhood so innocent…
It hurt as Cecil thought about it…Apologizing to her…His words wouldn't mean anything…He imagined over and over what he could say to her…Ummm…I don't know…why I…killed your…mommy…
God wouldn't that sound stupid…
Cecil stepped back quickly and sat on his bed…I won't wake her, he decided…I'll wait until she wakes and then I'll explain everything even though she won't understand it…Maybe she doesn't remember what happened, he thought with unintentional excitement…No, she'll remember it…no one forgets something like that…
There was a small sigh from the little girl and Cecil turned to her…she stirred slightly and Cecil leaped to his feet, half-hoping that she would waken and half-hoping that she would continue sleeping…
She was awake…in the darkness he could see her eyes shimmering…she was still lying on her side, facing him…but she was awake…
"Are…you…okay..?"
Cecil heard his voice speak to her before he meant to…she blinked and made no reply…Cecil drew a deep breath and thought about approaching her but didn't…
"I…um…I haven't heard your name…yet…"
She scowled and said nothing…Cecil silently hoped that she couldn't see him trembling in the darkness…
"I bet…a cute girl like you…has a cute name…" he attempted a conversation again…
Silence…
"Can I…guess…your name..?"
The little girl drew the bed sheet over her head…Cecil sighed in defeat…why not just quit acting like some kind of angelic bastard and tell her the truth? He scolded himself…
"Listen --"
Cecil drew a deep wavering breath…
"I know…I did…a very bad…thing --"
God his voice was trembling like crazy…
"--And…if you never…ever…want to talk to me…I'll…understand --"
He paused…it was the truth…he would understand if she hated him forever…it was actually one of the few things he would understand…and accept…
"--At least…let me…protect you…"
Because that is one promise I will keep, he added fiercely to himself…
"--Please…let me…protect…you…"
She didn't speak…Cecil at last stepped away from her bed and sat on his again…He gazed at the little lamp beside him for a long time until he finally leaned back and closed his eyes…Each time it felt that he would fall asleep, something would make his eyes flutter open and he was left staring at the dark ceiling…occasionally he heard noises from outside the window…a child shouting happily…a dog barking…not unlike Baron at all, he thought ruefully…Except for the fact that Baron is far away…years away it seemed…something made him wish that he were there again…only this time he would be in Baron several days earlier…I would refuse to lead the Red Wings to Mysidia, he told himself…God if I could just be there again I swear I would refuse to lead the airships to capture the crystal of Water…And if I did that, it would destroy all of the events that led up to this and this would be someone else and not me…
Cecil drifted off to sleep…
* * * * * *
Cecil woke again deep in the night…he sat bolt upright in bed…his hair and face soaked in sweat…
A bad dream, he told himself, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest…A nightmare…
No, it was something else…
His ears pricked up…a noise…that's why he was awake…
Cecil slung his legs over the edge of the bed, quickly, quietly…he was wide-awake…
The sudden slamming of a door…nearby…
He listened intently…a click from the lock of the door…in the inn…
A drop of sweat trickled down Cecil's temple…
The loud tromping of boots began…in the distant…moving closer…
He swallowed nervously…were they coming this way…?
Yes…his heart pounded heavily…they know where I am because they can hear my heartbeat…
They were coming fast…sweat dripped from his brow…
In a flash the door of the room flew open…God…
Cecil leaped to his feet as a young face appeared in the flame of the torch the man carried, his chain mail glittering red in the light…the light spilled across the double cross on his chest…
The double cross…of Baron…
"Cecil Harvey--"
Cecil scowled, gazing suspiciously at the officer…
"Aren't you going to at least welcome us or give us the famous Captain's salute?"
Cecil's frown darkened…
"What are you doing here?"
Two soldiers flanked the one holding the torch…the blades of their sabers flashed in the dancing light…Cecil started toward them…
"What does his Majesty want from me now? Haven't I done enough for him?"
The officer stepped in the doorway and folded his arms over his chest.
"He doesn't want you to do anything, Cecil," came the snide remark. "You're right; you did enough when you got the Crystal of Water from the Mysidians --"
Cecil bowed his head…he felt the cold stare on him…
"Do you remember the Edict, Cecil?"
Cecil looked up, clenching his teeth…of course he remembered the Edict…
"The order to make sure the summoners of Mist were no threat to the other nations..?"
One of the soldiers spoke with a sneer.
"I know what it was…" Cecil whispered fiercely between clenched teeth…he glanced at the little girl, bundled up in the sheets on her bed…
"It was never revoked --"
Cecil stared at them coldly. Liar…it hasn't been enforced in nearly a decade…what are they trying to do...?
"That girl --" the soldier stepped toward Cecil and indicated the tiny bundle on the bed. "--is from the village of Mist…" He spat the word like a curse.
"…witches…" The other laughed with a leering smile. The officer nodded.
"She must also have the powers of the summoners since she's one of the offspring of one of those god-forsaken people --"
Cecil glowered at the soldiers of Baron…One of them approached Cecil threateningly.
"Which means the nation of Baron has the right to take full responsibility of her…"
Full responsibility of her…? Which means they'll kill her…that's not responsibility…that's just murder…
Cecil stepped coolly toward the soldiers, not even paying attention to the sabers they wielded…
"This girl…is…my…responsibility…" he almost growled…God he was so angry…how dare they come in here to take the girl and not even ask how he got her…but why should they care? They probably know anyway…
The officer scoffed at him.
"Captain," he started, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You're in no position to take responsibility of this girl…"
The soldiers closed in…the sabers flashed in the light…Cecil was undaunted…
"We're not in the jurisdiction of Baron --" Cecil whispered. "--King Odin has no control past the Misty Mountains…"
The officer laughed mirthlessly.
"Cecil, the girl is a witch from that cursed village…It isn't even there anymore…"
Cecil's eyes narrowed but he said nothing…
"--And why do you take responsibility of the girl?"
The officer glared at Cecil emotionlessly and gave him no chance to answer.
"--You'll never win her trust after you killed her mother…"
Cecil froze…suddenly he felt sick…those words…God how sickening…He closed his eyes for a moment…a soldier smirked…his eyes opened…
"--I'll kill you…I swear I'll kill you!!"
The knight ducked the unexpected thrust of an oncoming soldier and leaped back, unsheathing his own black blade in the darkness. The soldier teetered off-balance, giving Cecil a split second to smash him across the face with the handle of the sword…The soldier groaned and slumped to the floor, his fingers releasing the sword with a dull clang. The other soldier charged without bound at Cecil, a sneer on his face, and Cecil dove under the desk beside his bed, the saber whistling through the air inches above his head. The blade ricocheted harmlessly off the desktop, upsetting the oil lamp…Cecil grabbed the legs of the desk, and sprang to his feet with a shout, jabbing the desk into the belly of the soldier and sending him toppling against the wall. As the soldier gasped for breath Cecil raised the desk and splintered it on the startled man's forehead; the soldier immediately collapsed to the floor.
Cecil stooped down to retrieve the dark sword and lunged at the retreating officer, snatching him fast by the collar.
"What's going on, man?!"
Cecil demanded, breathing hard, holding the man's face close to his…the officer refused to speak…Cecil shoved him harder against the wall and pulled the blade toward his throat…
"You're going to talk --" Cecil snarled. "--or I'll --"
The officer thrust the torch at Cecil's unmasked face, and Cecil instantly released his grip and flung his hands up to shield his eyes…The torch fell from the officer's fingers and the man turned hastily, fleeing the room and disappearing into the darkness…Cecil swore viciously and snatched his sword from the ground, leaping toward the door as if to follow the officer…What's the use? He turned around quickly, shutting the door and locking it. He leaned back against it, breathing hard, drained of energy…
Then he glanced across the room and remembered the bodies…God, if someone found them he would be arrested and imprisoned…
He hurried across the room, at the same time trying to listen for the sound of approaching footsteps…the soldiers' bodies were lying near the wall…they're not dead, Cecil thought with a grimace…I'm not that lucky…he scanned the room for a place to move them…Under the bed he decided with a nod…
As he dragged one man across the floor, he heard a voice:
"Did those mean men hurt you?"
Cecil stopped, baffled…the little girl was speaking to him…
"…I'm sorry…"
He looked up…he hadn't even realized the girl was awake…
And she apologized to him because she thought the mean men had hurt him…
"I'm…the…one…who should…apologize…" Cecil managed to stutter at last…he glanced up and noticed the girl watching him intently, her eyes wide.
"Did you…beat them up…all by…yourself..?"
Cecil nodded, kicking one of the bodies under his bed…he wanted to add I did it for you…to protect you…since I killed your mommy the least I can do is try to protect you…
He didn't say anything, however; she watched him with genuine fascination as he dragged the other unconscious soldier across the floor and shoved him roughly under the bed…At last Cecil sat on the bed with a sigh of relief…maybe no one will come in and ask questions Cecil thought hopefully…I don't feel like questions…I wouldn't mind some answers, but no questions…if they find the bodies later I don't care…it won't be my problem…
It was pitch-black in the room as Cecil finally laid down wearily…there was a slight rustling in the bed next to his…and the little girl's voice spoke unexpectedly:
"I'm…Rydia…"
The words echoed in Cecil's head as he drifted off to sleep…