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Edge's Cursed Fanfic... (well, more like FFII spoof..)

Brought to you inpart by,

~~*Monie's Imagination Station*~~

---Cid's Aviational Airship Auto-Repair---

<><>Edward's Soundtrack to "I Want To Be Your Canary'
featuring the hit single.. 'Garnet, This is Goodbye'<><><>

^^..And by readers like YOU..^^

<>Lights click on and zero down onto the stage. The audience
grows quiet as the announcer speaks<>
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are SLIGHTY proud to present,
*Edge's Cursed Fanfic* !!!"
<>A neon pink sign appears and flashes. Instantly the
crowd applauses<>
"And our host for this evening.. MONIE!"
<>A girl wearing a pair of blue jeans and a white shirt walks
onto stage. The camera zeros in on her as she strikes a pose.
The camera clicks and a picture of her holding up two fingers
and winking is shown.<>
"Peace, love.. and chicken grease! Love ya!"
<>Neon sign blinks; the crowd cheers. Announcer:<>
"Also our special guest.. and we DO mean special..
*snickers are heard in the background* ...Edge, King of Eblan.!"
<>Edge struts out in his finest, proudly waving to the audience.
Neon sign flashes and crickets are heard chirping. Edge turns
to Monie.."I'm outta here.." Begins to exit..<>
"Oh..no, Eddy. You have to stay because" *a bucket appears
over her head* ~Edge.. I am your writer~ * bucket vanishes*
"And well, because this is my spoof.. and you belong to me
for about," glances at watch, "hmmm, oh.. for about forever.."
"Forever?!?!"
"Weeeell, maybe not forever.. Try eternity."
"Eternity.. that's more like it. Why do I have to be in
your stupid spoof.. like, why not Cecil or--"
"NO! Cecil's got issues and Kain's got issues and
Edward's got issues and--
"You've got issues.."
"--and I've got issues.. ?? Anyway.." waves her hands,"
You deserve some more humbling BUT to make you happy, I'll
give you your own cheering squad." Snaps fingers.


"Awww..! Look at the lil' piggy wiggy..!" Kain laughs.
"He's a cute one.. yes he is! Aww..!!" Cecil teases behind
the dragoon. "Oink, onik, oink!!" Palom and Porom mimick.
Rosa and Rydia laughs.

Tapping her foot, Monie crosses her arms. "Announcer!!!"

"Ahem.. Also special appearances by.. The Final Fantasy II
Crew!!"

"Damn it!" The group mutters amonst themeselves. Edge
sneers..

"Well, maybe it won't be too bad.."

"Oh! I wouldn't say that!" Grabs his arm, "C'mon!
Show's up!"
<><><><><><><><><><><><>


3..
2..
1.. Action!

"Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. We have with us today
a guest from the Kingdom of Eblan. Let's welcome.. Edge!"

The ninja sits up in a stage chair perplexed.

"Edge.. tell us your story.."

"What story?"

Cecil looks around at the audience and says into the
microphone. "It's obvious that he has no idea why he's
here.. or where he is for that matter." Cecil takes a few
steps down the alise. "Edge, you are on my show.."

"What show?" The young man stares out into the crowds
of people, warily.

"Well," Cecil shuffles some note cards, " Let's bring out
our next guest, shall we?"

*Claps and Cheers ring out as Rydia, famed Caller of
Mist Village steps onto the stage, clasping her long,
green flowing gown. She takes a seat next to Edge-who still
doesn't know what the hell's goin' on.


"Rydia," Edge leans toward her, "What are you doing here?"

She winks at him.

"It appears you two know each other. What kind of
relationship did you both have?"

"What relationship?"

"Well Cecil," Rydia clears her throat. "It started out as
a close freindship brought about by the sorrows
of war. Maybe it was even somewhat flirtatous... But
I've never tried to lead Edge on. I thought it would pass,
you know, a phase..."

Cecil pitched in, "But you two grew fond of each other.."

Rydia sniffed and nodded.

Okay, what do you have to say about that Edge?"

The ninja stared straight ahead, "What the [BEEP] are you
talking about?"

The host shook his head, sighing in exasperation, "Feelings
for the woman over here," he guestured.

"Ah, " Edge glanced at Rydia, "Oh.. well, um.."

"Do you love her?"

Edge's brows furrowed angryly, "[BEEP] Cecil! All in MY
love life, aren't you?"

"Answer the question, Edge.."

"No! You answer the question! Did I say anything about
your secret rendevous while Rosa was at a DINNER PARTY?!"

"Edge...."

"Yeah! With some chick named Tifa! Ya HEARD??!"

"Er.. Moving right along." Hurriedly, Cecil flips over a
note card.. "We'll return after a word from our sponcer.
Don't go away.."

Announcer: Have you or anyone you know
been brainwashed in the past
to betray you and kidnapp your
girl-friend while working for
higher power? And you want to
come clean and apologize? You
could be a guest.


*Show returns with a sweep of the audience cheering and
clapping*

"Welcome back. We have with us today, Rydia and Edge. A
friendship that might have been courtship if not for.."
Cecil makes his way down to the alise, standing infront
of the stage. He turned to Rydia.. "Rydia.. do you have
something you wanted to tell Edge here?"

"Um, yes.." Rydia shifts to Edge. "Edge.. we've been
friends for a long time, good friends." She pauses,
"We've fought together both personal and on the battle
field..

But I love another.."

"NANI?!"

"Let's bring out our next guest. Please welcome..
Edhan!!"

Boo's and hisses sound through the air as the
tall man with long hair steps from behind stage.
He bows to the audience and takes a seat next to
Rydia, clasping her hand.

"Good afternoon, Cecil.. my love.. "the slits of his
exotic eyes shift to the King, "...Edward."

"And good afternoon to you, Edhan. Tell us.. How did
you and Rydia meet?"

"Ahh, well.. Rydia was brought up from childhood in my
home, The Underworld." Edhan shrugged. "My parents, the
King and Queen took quite a liking to her," he glanced
at Rydia. "...and so did I."

"And so did I." Edge mimicked and bared his teeth,
sitting on the edge of his seat. "I can't believe it..
I'm second to Edhan!" The young king looks away, shaking
his head for a moment.. Suddenly he hops out of his seat
and lounges for the Edhan. "Why you lizard-faced
[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP]!!!!

Crowd chants: "Ce-cil!! Ce-cil!! Ce-cil!!"

Quickly two guards jumps on the stage. Ben takes Edhan
and Kain grabs the kicking Edge, separating them.

"Get the [BEEP] offa me, Kain!!" Edge snatches back his arm.
He does a double take, "Why the [BEEP] are YOU here anyway!?"

"Sit your @$$ down, Edge," the dragoon whispered. "Be still!"

Edhan straightens his cape, glaring at Edge.

"What are YOU lookin' at? Like what you see, bud?"

"What are YOU implying?? I'm not walking around trying to
hit on everything that walks..!! All I see is a pompous,
good-for-nothing PIG!"

"OH!" Edge stands. "I'll show you what I'm good for..
I'm good for kicking your [BEEP]!!" Edge pats his chest.
"You want a piece of this pretty boy??!"

"With pleasure," Edhan stands and Rydia backs away.

Edge rushes at Edhan, "Bring it!!!!!"

"Ce-cil!!! Ce-cil!!! Ce-cil!!!"

Ben and Kain wrestle with the fighting opponents.

"Okay, guys.. break it up," Cecil says. "We got some
questions."
He walks up to a blue haired girl wearing a bandanna and
cut-off gloves.

"Yeah.. this is for that.. Eblanian dude.. Hey, are you
really a guy?? I heard you was a girl!!"

Edge pauses with a chair in his hands.

"Next question.. Hi there," Cecil goes to a tall man, with
extra long, silver hair and glowing green eyes.

"Yes, I have a question for ...Edhan, is it? Who tailors
your clothing because--"

"Alrighty then, and you, Sir?" A man with short brown
hair and scar above the bridge of his nose takes the
microphone.

"I just want to know who Rydia really loves--"

"--and if she came home with me, I'd treat her like a
goddess!" The man in a cowboy hat, orange hair and a long
trench coat laughs.

"...Well, truly Cecil I don't know.." Rydia steps between
the Prince of the Underworld and the King of Eblana.

"You'll have to choose, Rydia.."

"Yes.. But only time will tell."

Cecil nods, coming to a corner of the studio. "We'll be
right back with the final thoughts."

Announcer: If you would like tickets to see The Cecil Harvey
Show please send 50gps or the equivalent of 100
American dollars to..

The Monie Fund
PO Box 24249
La La Land, Imagination
OR

Call us at our toll free number:
1-8OO-NUFF-SAID

*camera over looks the entire studio before cutting to
Cecil in the final thoughts corner*

"Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen. You know.. love comes
in many forms.. so much so that we sometimes over look
what's important. Out of such situations confusion
develops much like Rydia feels or in many cases anger
at the competition like Edhan and Edge displayed here today.
For the most part however, we should remember that we all
live here on this Blue Planet and everyone deserves a
chance at love and it is up to giver to define those
terms and draw the line between romantic love and friendship.
Until then, take care of yourselves.. and each other.

*~*~bLoOpErS~*~*
~CUT
"Do you love her?"

Edge's brows furrowed angryly, "Do YOU love her??"
~CUT
"Do you love her?"

Edge's brows furrowed angryly. Then he plunges his head
in his hands, mock weeping.. "Yes.. I confess.. I love my
Mommy...!!" Cecil and Rydia starts laughing.
~CUT
"Do you love her?"

Edge's brows furrowed angryly, "Tell'em what I told you
at my place, Rydia..
"When," Rydia asks.
"Last NIGHT, baby!!" Edge falls over the chair laughing.
Whistles are heard from the audience. Rydia rolls her eyes.
~CUT
"Answer the question, Edge.."

"No! You answer the friggin' question! Did I say anything
about your secret rendevous while Rosa was at a
SLUMBER PARTY?!!"
~CUT
"Okay, guys.. break it up," Cecil says. "We got some
questions."
He walks up to a blue haired girl wearing a bandanna and
cut-off gloves.

"Yeah.. this is for that Eblanian dude.. Do you really sleep
with a stuffed chocobo??"
~CUT
"Yeah.. this is for that Eblanian dude.. Did you sniff
Saki when you were little??"
~CUT
"Yeah.. this is for that HOT dragoon! Can I have ya
number??"
~CUT
"What are YOU lookin' at? Like what you see, bud?"

"What are YOU implying?? I'm not walking around trying to
hit on everything that walks..!! All I see.. is,um.. ah..

"HA! All I see.. is that Edhan forgot his lines!" Edge shouts

"Shut up.."
~CUT
*camera over looks the entire studio before cutting to
Cecil in the final thoughts corner*

"Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen. You know.." Cecil
thinks a moment then smiles into the camera.. "I forgot my
lines."

"Damnit, Cecil!" is heard from Edge in the background.

~Fin(^_~).....or is it?

Monie