22.

The illusion of love

"There it is!" Rydia was peering around the edge of a big stone. Nestled between two steep mountain walls lay the stony, angular entrance of one of the Silveran mines.

"Strange, there are no guards..." Kain frowned.

"Maybe their headquarter is deeper in the mines and they don't want to attract too much attention by placing guards in front," Yang suggested. "Or Mallack feels completely safe on this isolated island…"

Carefully, the friends emerged from their hiding place and approached the entrance. As they entered the black maw, cold silence greeted them -only some mining tools which were lying on the ground gave proof that once, people had been working in here.

"Maybe we were wrong after all and Mallack is hiding somewhere else..." Edge's voice sounded as if he could not decide whether to feel relieved or frustrated in view of this possibility.

"No… Let's get a bit deeper into the mines," Rosa insisted and moved ahead.

Kain and Cecil exchanged glances - it seemed that Rosa was more than determined to find her father.

The mines were illuminated well enough by torches on the walls, and the group was able to find their way without magic. They followed the mine tunnels for some time, spotting nothing unusual until they reached a great stone arch leading to a darker area of the cave.

"I haven't seen this arch the last time we were here," Rosa wondered, remembering the time they had traded with some miners in order to get the right material to strengthen Cecil's sword.

Edge studied the pillars holding the arch: "Looks like they were built… Why the heck would someone construct this for a mine? It's not a living room!" 

"Maybe this someone lays great stress on an imposing surrounding," Golbez suggested sarcastically. "Look, there's something scratched on the arch: "Here begins the free realm of the true Paladin. May the steps through this gate free your thoughts and may you discover yourself."

"For Mallack the fight against us is a fight for freedom..." Cecil said darkly. "He doesn't realize that his ideas are even more confining than the ones of the Lunarians he so hates."

Carefully, the group stepped through the arch, suddenly feeling stones under their feet.

"I'll make some light…" Rosa whispered and cast the spell - with a loud sizzle, the area was bathed in a pale glow. Although everyone had to shield their eyes as usual when a light spell was cast in a narrow space, for some reason the magic did not feel as strong as it used to. 

"This might be because we're near to the black stone..." Cecil whispered, then fell silent as the light spell lessened even more, allowing the group to see their surrounding. The room they were standing in looked more like a regular room in a castle than a cave in a mine - although it was completely veneered in black. The floor was made out of a material which looked like black marble and the walls were covered with a strange crystalline dark structure. The blackness of the room was frightening, overwhelming, and seemed to suck in even the light spell which seemed to becomedimmerwith every second.

"By Bahamut! I've never seen such a black! It seems to pull one in…" Rosa gasped next to Cecil.

The Paladin was surveying his surroundings with widened eyes: "It looks like a Lunarian shrine - or better, like the evil counterpart of one. There's something disturbing...no, destructive about this room..."

Rosa was right - one could not escape the darkness of this room: No matter where one looked, the room was black, like it wasbeing covered by a sticky, oily film; the blackness tearing at one's soul, drawing one's being into a horrible embrace...

Cecil approached one of the walls, seeing his image being reflected faintly in the crystalline structure. Suddenly the image blurred and a person dressed in black armour seemed to reach for him through the wall, causing the Paladin to take a step back.

"Just as it had been on Mt. Ordeals! But this time - the wall is so black… Black as my armour… Why did it reach for me? Does it…does the darkness still feel attached to me?"

Horrified and unable to move, Cecil watched how the apparition in the mirror was reaching out once more for him, its black clad hand diving through the black material as if it were water. However, before it had reached him, the dark knight shattered into thousands of little black shards. The Paladin felt a sharp sting in his heart, as if one of the broken fragments had hit him; nausea surged up in him and, feeling weak on his legs all of a sudden, he had to touch a side wall for support.

"Cecil! Are you alright? You look pale…" Rosa sounded concerned - obviously she had not seen the apparition in the wall.

Her husband shook his head, trying to fight an arising sickness. "I'm alright…" However, the image of the black clad hand reaching through the mirror still lingered in his mind…

"It's awful here," Rydia whispered. "This darkness… As I was little, I used to think that dying was like this. Just dropping into a space where everything is black and cold... It made me afraid…" She suddenly started to sob slightly. "My mother used to comfort me by telling me that I wouldn't be alone there...that…" She was unable to speak any further.

"Rydia..." Edge approached her and laid a hand on her shoulder. It seemed as if he wanted to tell her something nice, but suddenly anger flared up in his eyes. "I know how you feel - this room makes me sick, as well. It reminds me so much of Rubicant's laboratory. My parents... Begging for death from the hands of their own son! Why...why are there always beings like these damn fiends?! Manipulating others, changing them, only to destroy them without mercy in the end. And we... I...could do nothing! It's a lie if people say that the good side will prevail in the end!" Hot desperation seemed to overcome him and letting go of Rydia's shoulder, he balled his hands to fists, his whole body shuddering withsuppressed rage.

"Only a fiend like Mallack would build such a devilish room!" Kain's voice was full of disgust. "He will pay for everything…for what he did to our friends - for what he did to me!"

"Is Kain giving Mallack the fault for his separation from Diane?" Cecil wondered. There was something disturbing about the sudden tone and behaviour of his friends, but he felt too dizzy to think about it clearly. "Why won't the image of the reflection leave my head? Will this past really never leave me as well? Maybe...maybe the darkness is still in me..."

Bitter memories of his escape from the Mysidian villagers surged up in him; their shouts and accusations ringing once more into his ears. "Who am I to judge what is evil and what is good, who am I to fight for justice if I can not even win the fight against my dark past…"

He tried to keep his wits together, telling himself that the apparition had just been illusion. "We all should calm down a bit… We'll need a clear head if we want to confront Mallack and win," he brought forth.

"Maybe there is no way to defeat Mallack after all..." Yang said, staring at the wall.

"Of course there is one!" Kain snapped at him, angrily.

"I'm only saying that we have to reckon with a possible defeat," The King of Fabul replied, unmoved by Kain's tone.

"He's right..." Rydia sobbed. "And even if we could defeat Mallack -- what about the townspeople?"

"Yes… We might never be able to bring them back to their senses. They hate us too much, maybe even hated us before… Especially me…" Cecil added hoarsely - repugnance filled his mind as he heard himself utter these faint-hearted words, but a strong sense of desperation had once more filled his whole being and he could find no strength to fight against it.

"That's enough!" Rosa's angry voice echoed through the room. "It may surprise you that I'm the one saying this, but worrying will bring us nowhere! We've come this far and now we suddenly have lost all our hope?" She looked at Cecil. "Even you? Is this the way we want to repay Dawn for what she did? By quivering in fear before we even have met Mallack?"

Everyone stared at her, surprised.

"She's right..." Yang finally said after a while, although his voice still sounded unnaturally weak. "It would be foolish to admit defeat without a fight - we all are not behaving like ourselves right now. But suddenly everything seemed so pointless to me and I remembered all the times I failed... How…how I hadn't been able to protect my men from the monster attack on Mt. Hobbs and the Fabulian Kingdom from Zemus' forces…" It was seldom that Yang spoke about this, and the Karate master averted his gaze as if he feared that too many emotions were mirrored in his normally so calm eyes.

"Me and Rydia had to think of our parents…" Edge said darkly, but looked up surprised as the caller reached for his hand as if needing reassurance that she wasn't alone. He carefully drew her in an embrace, "It's okay, Rydia. We're all here with you…" he told her softly, the former desperation and rage in his eyes slowly wearing away. The caller nodded sadly, still lost in sorrow.

"And I had to think of… Well it would be too much to enumerate it right now…" Kain murmured and although he tried to grin, it was clear that he felt ashamed.

"I saw myself as a Dark Knight. For a moment, I even thought that the darkness was still in me…" Cecil murmured, absent-mindedly.

"But that's not true. Although my past will never leave me, I once fought against the Dark Knight that was me and won. Thus, I can and will fight against him again."

The Paladin swallowed hard and closed his eyes for moment, with all his strength trying to banish this image once more - this time he succeeded and his mind already felt a bit clearer.

"We all seem to be gettingreminded of our greatest fears and worries…and our pasts," he said, looking at the others.

"Maybe this is the doing of Mallack, or these black stones," Kain wondered and anger seemed to overcome him again.

"This might be a trick of him to lead us into carelessness," Yang said, "And we nearly fell for it... Lets all try to concentrate on the mission at hand from now on - the shadows of our pasts will stay forever, but Mallack we need to fight now!"

"Yes, he will not toy with us any longer!" Kain agreed. "And I…I'm sorry about my outburst just then, Yang..."

"No need to apologize." The Karate Master bowed slightly.

"Good. Is everyone feeling alright so that we can go on? Rydia?" Cecil approached the caller and laid an arm around her slim shoulders, as he would always do when the girl was sad.

Rydia looked up to him, then to Edge, still some tears in her eyes. "Yes..." She tried to smile bravely. "Together there is nothing which can stand against us…"

"Even if you were only alone with me you could be sure of that!" Edge grinned.

"If I was alone with you, I'd probably start to panic..." the caller teased - it seemed as if the constant quibbling with Edge was only one method of chasing away her fears.

Cecil sighed relieved. Obviously his friends had found their wayback to their old spirit or at least pretended that it was so. "And I can fight as well. And if it is to prove that the darkness has left me…"

Then he suddenly remembered that Golbez had not said anything for a long time - the wizard was standing very still, his whole appearance seeming to blend in with the dark surroundings, had it not been for his face, which was more pale than usual.

"I wonder of what he thought out of all of us here. His past is surely the most frightening…"

"Golbez," the Paladin addressed him softly, "is everything alright?"

The long-haired wizard blinked, as if awakening from a dream. "Oh…Yes. I was just thinking of--of long forgotten times…" As he beheld Cecil's worried look, he raised his eyebrow, amused. "Are you already regretting that you gave me the crystal, Cecil?"

The Paladin shook his head - his decision stood, no matter how much Golbez mocked him.

"No… It will be a good protection for you. Now let's go and find Mallack..."

He quickly turned around as he did not want to give Golbez the opportunity to reply and heinstead approached Rosa, who was already about to leave the room.

Although Cecil was glad and proud that his wife had been the one to prevent a quarrel between the friends, he also was slightly surprised that she of all people had been the only one to keep a clear head.

"Thanks for intervening, Rosa. In this place here, our darkest fears seem to become real, so it's good to have at least one fearless person in our midst…" He told her, giving her a fleeing kiss on the cheek during walking.

The young queen blushed slightly. "Oh… It wasn't that I didn't have unpleasant memories… There were memories of how my father left and did not come back, of how you and Kain were sent to Mysidia. Of the time when I was confined in the tower of Zot, not knowing if I would ever see you again, death before my eyes. And memories...of Dawn… But..."

"But?" Cecil asked gently.

She smiled. "Then I thought that--" She blanched, "Oh no!"

Cecil knew at once what was frightening his wife, as he was feeling it, too - or better feeling him. "Be on guard…" He drew his sword. Rosa watched his action with worry, but laid her own hand on the weapon at her side: the silver rapier Dawn had given her.

"So you finally found us!" A dark voice echoed suddenly through the hall - it was clearly Morrison's bass.

"Morrison! Where are you? Show yourself!" Kain demanded.

"I'm right here behind you!" the voice chuckled. As the friends turned around they caught sight of the tall figure of the Dark Knight - the eyes of the grey haired man were lifeless and cold as always.

"Why have we not noticed him sooner?" Rydia uttered, shocked.

"How impressive that you came this far…" Morrison studied the group before him. "Not many are able to withstand the magical powers of Mallack - especially not people with such interesting pasts as some of you posses…"

The remark made Kain clench his fists.

"Father! Please snap out of it!" Ignoring her husband's try to hold her back, Rosa took a step towards the Knight. "You can withstand Mallack's powers as well!"

Morrison grinned maliciously. "Who says that I want that, my daughter?"

Rosa gasped, her face a mask of surprise. "Daughter? So you…you remember?"

The Knight took a step towards her, not making preparations to draw his weapon, though. "Mallack helped me to remember," He explained and his expression changed to something nearly gentle, as far as his dead eyes would allow such an impression. "My dear Rosa. I used to call you 'Little Princess'..." He took another step towards her - Cecil watched the scene with concern, but Rosa shook her head slightly, motioning him to stay back.

"Remember the one birthday where I gave you your first bow? The white one?" Morrison asked.

Rosa nodded, swallowing hard. "Yes. You taught me to use it… Though I would always miss the target at first…"

"Yes," Morrison laughed quietly, "but soon, you became very skilled. You were the pride of me and your mother. Ah -- your mother, Margaret: such a brave and temperamental woman and beautiful as I met her…" Morrison had nearly reached Rosa by now. "What a happy little family we were back then."

"Yes, we were. And we can become happy again!" Rosa pleaded. "Let us--let me help you! Together we can fight Mallack!"

"I see that my 'Little Princess' has become a great, brave Queen," Morrison smiled. "A Queen--" suddenly his expression hardened and his voice sounded full of disgust--"A Queen who's living the same hypocritical and pitiful life I once led!"

"Father!" Rosa took a step back, eyes full of horror. "What are you saying?"

Morrison shook his head. "You still do not understand, do you? I was a Knight of the King - I was living tofollow his orders, risking my life for goals which were his. And what for? As our ship sank I got washed up on some little island, more dead than alive. Some people, fishermen, took my lifeless body into their village and cared for me. They probably thought that I was some noble lord or someone like that who would reward them greatly when he awoke… I was lucky that they thought this way: I don't know how long I lay in coma, but hadn't the villagers hoped to get a reward, they'd surely thrown me into the sea again…" His voice became even more bitter as he continued:.

"It was Mallack who found me and helped me to recover, giving his own life-forceto me -- if he hadn't, I would still be rottingthere! I bet the King did not even search for me, but just declared me dead! Isn't it that way? A Knight is there to follow his King and to die for him. Even if this means that the Knight has to leave his family behind, unprotected and of course under the mercy of his liege…"

"But the King did search for you!" Rosa replied. "All these things you say… I really don't understand… If all this was so horrible for you, why did you become Knight in the first place? You choose to serve Baron out of your own free will!"

"You're so naïve!" Mallack laughed coldly. "Although once, I used to think so too… But Mallack showed me the truth: in this world, under the current circumstances, there exists no thing as a free will. We are all puppets, and the ones who shape our lives are not we, but others..." He took another step towards Rosa, nearly threatening.

"But what about us? What about your family? We had nothing to do with the orders of a King, right?" Rosa started to get uneasy, also because the man before her had something unreal to him.

Morrison stopped in his approach. "Funny you should mention this… I said the same thing to Mallack once, although I did not know then that I had a family, you see. And now, as I remember again, it does not matter as well. Because do you know what he taught me in his wisdom? A concept of a thing like family is just a hindrance to ones own development. Caring for a wife, for a child means giving up one's own freedom. Instead of following higher goals, you spend your life in a seemingly perfect little world until it breaks one day… And do you know why it breaks? Because we're not made to spend our lives with another, but are all alone deep in our being. 'Love' is an illusion, made by humans to mislead humans about this loneliness, as otherwise they could not stand living their miserable lives anymore!"

Rosa shook her head, tears in her eyes. "So you say that you didn't really love us? I don't believe you... Besides, you said that we were all puppets and need to break free, but why are you following Mallack's orders then? He's using you for his own goals! All he wants is to have control over people and he already has succeeded in having control over you! Is this the way you want to shape your own life? Father, don't you see that Mallack's words are only lies to deceive you? Humans can live together and if a thing such as love and family was only an illusion, then I wouldn't be standing here trying to help you!"

Morrison uttered a disdainful snort. "And how will you help me? Pitiful, adapted creature that you are? With following Mallack's orders, I follow my own wishes. I finally have the chance to lead my life the way I want to. And no one will stand in my way!" He seemed to want to reach out for Rosa, but Cecil was faster and stepped in his way.

"This is enough!" The Paladin stated angrily, grabbing for the others arm - but his hand went right through the man.

"He's not real, but a magical appearance…" Rydia whispered.

"Show yourself, coward!" Kain shouted.

The hologram of Morrison chuckled. "You all are so easy to fool... Do you really think that you could beat me even if I'd be standing here in person? Maybe with this little shard of crystal you possess?"

"In fact we do believe this," Edge remarked dryly.

"You'll have to kill me then to prove this…" With satisfaction, Morrison saw how Rosa paled even more. "Still worried, daughter? You don't need to worry - you're all too weak to kill me. There's only one amongst you who might have a slight chance to overcome Mallack or me, but he will not do this 'cause he thinks like us…" Suddenly, the apparition disappeared.

"Where has he gone to?" Yang looked around.

"There!" Cecil pointed towards another wall where the figure of Morrison was reflected in the black tiles - somehow the Knight looked more "real" than before. With a smile the figure raised his arm: the wall next to him began to blur slightly and he stepped through it.

"We cannot let him get away!" Golbez murmured, setting after Morrison immediately.

"Golbez, wait for us!" Cecil shouted, but his brother had already stepped through the wall which sucked him in like a dark maelstrom.

"Golbez!" Kain rushed towards the wall - he was too late, as well and hit his head on the cold black material. "Damn! Morrison has tricked us! And your stupid brother fell for it!"

"And now… Mallack has Golbez and the crystal shard..." Cecil went pale.

Before the Paladin could work himself into this thought, Yang had laid a hand on his friend's shoulder: "Nothing is lost yet!" he told the other. "I'm sure that your brother is well able to defend the crystal and himself. Let's hurry up to find him!"

The group hastened their steps, only Rosa did not move at once.

"Rosa. Please..." Cecil pulled gently at her hand. His wife looked at him, her stare strangely blank and followed him, wordlessly.