Yep, time for another one of those lovely interludes. There's a sizable timegap taking place in this, but that's due to me basically wanting to sum up what those in the waking world are doing while Golbez is off in the literal dreamland. Leaves me free to write pretty much about just him for the next couple of chapters or so. This is mostly Cecil reflecting on what he learned in the dream also.

Oh yeah. I'm also on codine while writing the latter half of this so um...be warned of potenial wandering thoughts- I'm not really in any shape to judge them right now.

It has been almost a month now since Golbez had dragged even Palom into that dream.....and some would say he's paying his just dues for snagging an innocent bystander into that mess. Still, as I stand at his bedside, I can't help but wonder at the things I had learned in that dream realm.

Did father really abandon him for me? Was that hatred that had driven him so utterly back then not solely Zemus'...?

It makes a frightening amount of sense when you think about it. A child is ruled by feelings, not thought. And a wound left untended in childhood can become quite the ugly scar in adulthood. Is that what had happened?

I have journeyed to Ordeals twice in this past month to ask my father these questions- but he no longer answers. The sense of his presence has vanished from around the shrine at the peak..did he vanish with that dream realm? Damn him, if he took that way out. Paladin I might be, and paladin he may have been- but that gave him no right to leave these problems on our shoulders. He should reap the seeds he'd sowed if this was the result of his inability to care for both of his sons.

But how can you even hope a dead man will hear you voice your opinions of him? Not even his spirit lingers here any more.

Palom had brought back some rather odd information from his own jaunt into that little nightmare- but so far, we don't know what to make of it. It has kept him, the elder and Porom all secluded away in a room in the castle- working the white mages and black mages of Baron both harder than Golbez ever had. It seems my brother may have been correct in his pursuit of those ancient legends, for it's in those the wizards bury themselves daily..and yet no one has anything to offer.

As for myself...there hasn't been a single dream since that day. Rosa and the rest of Baron is relieved for that, because with the nightly torments at an end, my health has finally begun to return. In this month alone, you could have never guessed how close I had come to dying so many times.

Now, instead of me, Golbez lies at death's feet, closer than I have ever been. His breathing is shallow, at times almost non-existant, and his skin is a pale,almost pasty hue. He reacts to nothing said or done, and it's all the mages can do to force broth and water past his lips. I've tried calling out to him- both vocally and mentally, but there hasn't been so much of a twitch in these past days in response. I can't even be sure he'd hear me calling out to his mind if he WAS awake. Of the two of us- only he really knew how to do that...but it doesn't stop me from trying.

The days continue to move on..from spring to summer, and the more mundane doings of kings takes me away from my brother's bedside more than I would like. I can't honestly say it's brotherly concern that compels me to stay there when I can, or even my father's request.

It's pure, simple selfishness. I can call it what I like- and being both King and Paladin, few would doubt my word, but I know what it is. Golbez knew our parents far better than I ever did...my memories of our mother are distant at best- she's become almost faceless as time moves on. And my father I know only as a ghost. Golbez's memories of those days seem quite clear and sharp however- maybe too much so... I want to hear about them. Good or bad, I want to know about the family I never got to have, and he is my only tie to them. In the end..that may be the only reason why the generous, forgiving Paladin-King could forgive even the fearsome "Man of Darkness"....

Purely selfish greed.

I turn my thoughts away from Golbez, instead looking out the window the mages had insisted leaving open to allow him fresh air. It's bright out, as you would expect of a summer day, but the air lacks the usual heat. Even the desert is rumored to have turned rather cool, with no sign of the usual blazing summers to scorch it's sands. Most of the townspeople feel some relief at this- desert heat is deadly after all- but other nations are reporting the same. Little has changed as time moves on- and without the heat to push nature's cycles through their course, crops are beginning to suffer. That in and of itself is a problem, but hardly the main one.

The mysidians have researched this as best they can- but they can as yet offer no reason for it. The crystals which govern our very world have not changed at all... surely if something was wrong, they would have alerted us.

But as midsummer nears, other, more disturbing reports are filtering in. Agart has suffered an attack from monsters- though surprisingly few people were hurt. The monsters had been......stampeding for lack of a better term, for the mouth of the crater, throwing themselves inside despite the massive drop. Proffessor Kory, who has been keeping an eye on the heavens since earlier this year when my dreams had finally been made public knowledge, had some unpleasant news of his own, in a letter that arrived just the other day...

'The stars look to be slowing in thier movements. Nor is the moon itself moving properly. Our tides have been very odd these past three months- I don't know what could possibly be causing it. I am sorry I can't tell you anything more about it."

My world may once again be plunging into danger, and here I am..wanting my brother to come back simply to learn more about those who've already passed on. No denying his help would be invaulable, his power had been plain for us all to see. But that isn't why I want him here, no matter how much I pretend otherwise.

A sad world indeed when it's chosen champion is nothing but a selfish boy.....Surely that's how Golbez himself must view me after what all had come to pass in the years I have no memory of...

(Continued in: Above Good or Evil: Ancient Balances)