14.

Fool for love

"How is Kain?" Cecil asked upon entering the room.

"We treated the wound as best as we could, but he won't be able to use his arm properly for some days..." Dawn informed him, wringing out a wet cloth over a bowl.

Cid was studying Kain skeptically. "That's quite an injury you're having there, boy..." Next to Kain, Diane sobbed slightly.

"Now, now, girl..." Cid told her gently. "He's alright, you'll see. Ill weeds grow apace--his sort just goes on forever!"

"Ill weeds grow apace? You're as concerned for my well-being as always, Cid..." Kain grinned, although worry for Diane was mirrored in his eyes-- it was clear that something occupied the mind of his girlfriend and that this "something" was not only Kain's injury.

"Good to see you, Cid!" Rosa had just entered the room, carrying some fresh water in a can.

"I suppose that everything is alright in the castle?"

"Well, we encountered no more of Mallack's men, but we did have a little...argument in the throne room," Yang said, looking at Cecil.

"Did it have to do with the people Diane talked about?" Dawn asked, then suddenly frowned. "Where is Golbez?"

"Well, you see..." Cid started, but Cecil forestalled him, his voice low and calm:

"I arrested him."

"You did what?" Kain tried to sit up, but noticing that this wouldn't work, resorted to staring at his friend with wide eyes.

All eyes were now upon Cecil with the exception of Margaret, who sat on a chair in the corner of the room, lost in her own thoughts.

"I had no choice," the Paladin explained. "Though none of the people in town seem to be under Mallack's spell yet, they mistrusted Golbez from the first moment and I made the mistake of not informing them..." He shook his head. "Although I'm not sure if that would have helped... Golbez was right when he said that fear was a better adviser than reason. In order to keep the people of Baron calm until we've planned our next move, I had no choice but to follow their will..."

"At least Golbez will be safe in the dungeon." Kain noticed not without sarcasm.

"So what are we to do next?" Dawn asked.

"We have no choice but to find Mallack... Unless we cannot stop the monster attacks of late or show the people proof that Mallack's men are responsible for all this, there will be no peace for us... Especially in our own Kingdoms..."

Cecil took forth the letter he had received from the guard. "This is a letter from Edward - the people in Damycan have started a revolt... They demand that Damycan severs all diplomatic ties to Kingdoms like Baron and Fabul and that important political posts are to be given to members of the Dark Paladins. The population's change of mind is a mystery to Edward -- the people explained that Damycan should become the isolated, but also peaceful desert state it once had been... As Edward would not give in to their wishes, they have arrested him into his own quarters for the time being -- luckily he was able to give this letter to a servant he still could trust..."

"So we should help Edward." Yang said.

"This may sound hard, but do you really think that we can just get him out of a besieged castle?" Kain frowned.

"Kain is right..." Dawn agreed. "This could only be one of Mallack's traps... Besides I don't think that the people will hurt your friend -- the people are not thirsty for blood, but in their eyes are onlyfor peace and liberty..."

"So all we can do for Edward's sake is to try to get to the root of Mallack's organization..." Yang remarked darkly.

For a moment, the friends were silent; their situation had worsened in a drastic way.

Cecil finally spoke out what everyone seemed to think: "Soon we will have no one to turn to anymore... Tororia and Damycan are under the power of the enemy, Agart is in shambles, Eblana is still too weak to support us and Baron is short of falling into the hands of the enemy as well. There is only Fabul, maybe Silvera, left..."

"And Mysidia," Dawn added. "There's a fact that bothered me for quite some time now: Judging from Nathaniel's--I mean Mallack's hate against Lunarians and the crystals, I cannot understand why he would attack the Shrine and the Serpent Way, but has not tried to infiltrate the town by now..."

"Yes - that's indeed strange. Especially because he already has weakened Mysidia by severing the Serpent Way's connection to Baron..." Yang scratched his chin while contemplating. "Maybe we should see things there, again. Besides everything began on Mt. Ordeals..."

"Perhaps we will be able to thwart Mallack's plans if we get in Mysidia before him... Also, I would like to ask the Elder some questions about this stone..." Cecil took out the black stone and carefully removed a layer of cloth around it. "Somehow it must have powers which strengthen the Mallack..."

"You've bought such an ugly thing as well!? This explains why these traveling merchants can do as they like in your Baron: the King is their best customer!" Margaret suddenly joined into the conversation.

"You've seen such a stone before, mother?" Rosa sounded agitated all of a sudden.

"Yes - the merchant this morning was wearing such a stone, only smaller, around his neck..."

"What?!" The friends exchanged shocked glances.

"So it has begun here as well..." Cecil whispered. "This means that we should better hurry -- indeed Mysidia could be Mallack's next target and we need to put a stop to his doings once and for all..."

"But Kain needs rest..." Rosa sighed. "We all need rest..."

Cecil nodded, the stress of the latest happenings written on his face as well. "I know... I believe that our departure can wait at least until tomorrow. I hope that the situation in town will not worsen too fast... But I'm worried about the airship... After all, it's the last one we have... And poor Edge and Rydia are guarding it, all alone."

"If you want, I'll go to them..." Cid offered, but then suddenly froze. "What did you just say? What did you mean with 'it's the last one'?" His friends paled visibly and started to talk all at once, apologies mixed with explanations.

"I do understand nothing!" Cid finally interrupted them. "Cecil - would you please explain to me what happened?"

"Well...you see...the Falcon was burnt by the townspeople of Tororia..." The Paladin told him as gently as he could.

"What?" Cid stared at him shocked. "My Falcon?! My pride?!"

"Cid, please calm yourself..." Rosa approached the elderly man, laying a warm hand on his arm and explained the happenings to him. Cecil wondered how his wife had so soon found the strength again to console others.

"I see..." Cid murmured after Rosa had ended her explanation and for a moment it seemed as if tears were showing in the corner of his eye. "So the Enterprise may be in danger as well, you say? I better relieve Rydia and Edge right away if that's the case..." He left the room rather hurriedly.

After a moment of silence, Cecil spoke: "I guess everyone of us needs to rest now -- our departure to Mysidia is hopefully the last one... In a positive respect... Ms. Farrel, you might want to stay here in the castle for the time being. It's safer than the town." For once, Margaret could agree with her son-in-law.

"We'll show you one of the guestrooms, mother..." Rosa helped the elderly woman up.

One by one the friends left the room

"Cecil, can I speak to you later?" Kain asked his friend.

Cecil nodded. "Sure." He looked at Diane, who seemingly did not want to leave Kain's side. "See you later..."

Dawn had been watching the couple as well: "Don't be too hard on yourselves.." She smiled and left the room, closing the door carefully behind her.

Diane and Kain stayed behind alone and for several minutes neither of them spoke. The red-haired girl was holding Kain's hand and was staring across the room, her eyes fixed on a window. Kain could not bear to look at her -- the way his usual cheerful girlfriend was sitting next to him was nearly breaking his heart.

"Kain..." Diane finally spoke, her lips moving only barely and her voice a mere whisper. "I know I've told you before, but I'm so sorry... As you attacked Morrison I saw his face... His expression suddenly changed. It was so horrible... As if he knew that you would miss... Though you wouldn't have missed him if...if..." she shook her head, unable to speak any more.

Despite getting reminded of his defeat against Morrison, a warm feeling surged up in Kain -- the feeling that there, next to him, was a person who cared more for him than for herself -- but at the same time, he hated that Diane was behaving like this as it made her suffer.

"Diane. It wasn't your fault..." He told her.

"If it wasn't my fault, then why did you miss?" Diane stared at Kain, her big brown eyes full of unanswered questions.

"Because I couldn't stand hearing the panic in your voice... Because I suddenly feared...for my life. For the first time in my life I thought about what would happen if I'd miss the target. If I'd died in this battle…" Upon uttering these words disappointment and slight rage about himself surged up in Kain – rage, that he hadn't been stronger. "I thought about you all the time, what would happen to you if I died. How your life would be--" he hesitated, and Diane completed the sentence in his stead:

"How my life would be destroyed as well... Yes, it would..." Her words were spoken out simple and truthfully, and for some reason did not surprise Kain at all.

"I used to think a lot about us two being together..." Diane said, her eyes resting calmly on her lover. "I used to tell myself that you are a fighter, that I had to accept that you could be facing death everywhere... I thought that I could bear this. After all, I had to face similar thing once, as my father did not come home from the Underworld and everyone thought that he was dead..." She bowed her head. "As I heard this terrible news about my dad, it hit me like a shock -- it came totally unexpected to me... Back then, I thought that to loose someone so sudden was the worst thing that could happen to one. But ever since I fellin love with you, I feel that this is not true... I know that every fight could be your last one and as I was standing next to you as you fought Morrison, having to watch all this... I couldn't stand it... I've been trying all this time to be strong; I told myself that you would come back from your mission safely... But although my reason told me that there was no need to worry, my heart could not -- nor can it, now... I'm weak -- I'm just a weak little girl..."

Kain had listened to her intently; each word spoken from her with heartbreaking, serious affection that made his own feelings for her even stronger. Once more, he realized how much he loved her. Still, things could not go on like that...

He cleared his throat, knowing that he, too, had to gather together all his courage: "Diane... What you said is not the truth. You're even stronger than I'm... You at least tried to live with all this, you had the strength to pretend you could live with it... But I... Never in my life there has been a person standing so near to me... And somehow…it hurts. I always was the only person in my life I had to account to: My life was my own one to live until its last breath. Don't understand me wrong. I know that Cecil and Rosa would grieve for me if something would happen, but I know that they, eventually, would get over it... But with you...I cannot stand the thought of leaving you alone..." He searched for words, not being used to talk about his emotions in such a way. "Diane, I.. I feel that my life no longer belongs only to myself,but to you as well."

"That's...that's the same for me..." Diane admitted. "But isn't this how it should be in love? So then... Why aren't we happy? Do you think that our love is not strong enough after all?"

Instead of an answer Kain raised his arm and carefully pulled her down. They kissed for a long time and as they finally broke the kiss, Diane had tears in her eyes. "I see what you mean. Maybe our love is too strong..." she whispered.

"And we may be too weak to carryit..." Kain whispered back, a terrible realization filling his mind.

"Yes... But what are we to do about it? I don't want that such a thing as today happens again..." Uneasiness was creeping over Diane, as well.

Kain closed his eyes. "I don't know. Denying our love will just be a terrible lie to both of us."

"Maybe it is better for us to live with a lie we can bear, than with the truth we cannot."

"Do you really think so?" Kain frowned.

"No..." Diane admitted softly. "But do we have a choice? I know that you'll leave with Cecil and the others tomorrow... I don't want to be a hindrance to you. So I'd like...to give you my part of your life back, if you will give me mine. Lets just pretend that we two were not meant for each other... Though I'm not sure if it will work."

"It may, if we just try to believe in this lie long enough." Kain said, having to hold back his tears – he could not remember the last time he had felt the urge to cry.

"I hope we're not both too bad liars for that..." Diane bent down, kissing him once more. They spent a long time in silence, just enjoying this moment with each other; Kain trying to savour every detail of the girl next to him: Diane's smile, her touch, her sweet scent, her features.

Finally Diane stood up, straightened her dress and left for the door. "I'm feeling uneasy here in Baron, so I'll probably spend some time at the house of an aunt of mine."

"Yes." Kain nodded, knowing that this 'some time' would probably take longer than expected.

The red-haired girl wanted to leave, but at the doorframe turned around, once more facing her love: "Kain... We don't want to make any more promises, but try to live. Not for me, but for yourself."

Kain tried to grin, although this seemed to be the hardest moment in all his life: "Yes...you as well..."

Diane nodded. "I'm leaving, then..."

Kain watched her exiting the room. "Take care... Until we meet again..." he whispered, though he knew that this might never happen…