1.

The meaning of being human

"Will she be alright? She seems to be in pain…" Cecil asked, worry in his eyes as he watched the fair-haired woman who was lying on the bed and stirred slightly in her sleep.

"Don't worry. It's nothing dangerous… She just has some bruises and a slight fever -- she probably fainted because of exhaustion," Rosa consoled him, while putting a piece of wet cloth on the pale forehead of the woman. Only some hours ago, a pretty agitated Cecil had called on the young Queen, an unconscious person in his arms. Rosa had ordered at once for the young woman to be taken into the sick quarters.

"So, is this the Dawn you spoke of?" Rosa asked casually. Cecil nodded - in time he had told his wife much of what had happened on Mt. Ordeals only some weeks ago, although he had omitted some of his own feelings, being too ashamed to tell them.

Only Kain knew the full story – it was a thing both men had exchanged after their reunion, a sign of trust and friendship once more. Though sometimes Cecil wondered, if Rosa really was completely unaware of the stormy sea of various emotions Dawn had plunged the Paladin into back then. 

The door was suddenly pushed open and Kain entered. "Dawn?" He hurried towards the bed and looked at the unconscious lying figure - though her hair was plastered to her forehead, she still looked stunningly beautiful with her long eyelashes and perfect soft lips, her pale skin slightly reddened due to the fever.

"Is it something serious?" the Dragoon asked, a hint of fear in his eyes.

Cecil shook his head, though his expression was one of sorrow. "Rosa examined her and thinks that she will be better soon... Dawn's just totally exhausted..." he consoled his friend. Both men shared a look of relief which made Cecil smile inwardly: He knew very well that Kain was indebted to Dawn for many things, as well as he himself. If she had not been on Mt. Ordeals some weeks ago, Kain might have lost the fight against his darker side and he might have lost not only the trust in himself, but also in his own wife, Rosa..

Concentrating his thoughts back on the situation at hand, the Paladin had to frown. "It seems that Dawn was escaping from someone or something. She came running out of the woods and --"

Suddenly the door was pushed open again, not very gently, and Edge stormed in, Rydia and Yang following behind. As always, it seemed that news spread through the castle faster than one could expect.

"So - that's the famous "Dawn" Cecil and Kain were speaking of, eh?" Edge grinned, obviously completely unaware of the sorrowful faces of his friends around him. "What a babe! What was this story with her on Mt. Ordeals again?" Rydia winced next to him.

Cecil sighed. "Kain and I met Dawn on the mountain," she told me that something evil was about to emerge. She has the rare ability to see into the souls of people, being a female paladin."

"A female paladin?" Edge smirked: "I bet you two made a nice couple there!" He slapped his friend on the shoulder.

"Edge stop your jesting - besides I would be very grateful if you could bring your voice down - there's a sick person lying here." Cecil exclaimed angrily, though blushed slightly upon remembering how much Dawn had confused his feelings back then. He gave a quick glance to Rosa, who was still occupied with cooling Dawn's forehead and did not seem to mind Edge's remark much. Cecil was glad that she did not care - it was even more a sign of trust towards him.

"These are strange times..." Yang said, "First your brother appears again and then this young woman comes to Baron.. Did she say anything before she passed out?"

"She murmured something about Tororia." Cecil bit his lip upon reflecting. "It seems to be her hometown..."

"Maybe monsters are attacking it as well - like what happened in Baron?" Rydia wondered, her green eyes wide with excitement.

Yang shook his head. "That's most unlikely in my opinion. The clerics of Tororia castle may like to stay for themselves, but they would be sure to report such things and there have been no reports…"

"If they could report..." Kain remarked.

Dawn suddenly stirred in her sleep once more, uttering a quiet moan.

"I hate to interrupt you, but maybe we could discuss these things outside? I don't think that Dawn will wake up before tomorrow - she's too weak for that..." Rosa interrupted the friends firmly, though she still kept a friendly air.

"You are right... We didn't behave very considerate," Cecil admitted, giving Rosa a quick kiss on the cheek as they left the room. He smiled at her, nearly sheepishly. "Thanks for helping me with…"

Rosa grinned. She knew what Cecil was referring to and returned the kiss. "It was my pleasure, darling. Your friends are mine, as well."

For a moment Cecil saw that Kain was looking wistfully into their direction, which caused the Paladin to smile. Only some weeks ago, he would have interpreted Kain's look as sign of jealousy, but now he knew that Kain was only longing for his love, Diane. The ex-Dragoon was thinking of the girl every minute she was not next to him, which happened to be more often right now, as Diane had a sprained ankle and was watched closely by her father, Cid, until she was better.

The group entered a little parlour in Baron castle and sat down on some chairs near the fireplace.

"It would be futile to go to Tororia without knowing if something is the matter there..." Yang continued the conversation they had started.

"But why would she talk about Tororia if something wasn't wrong there?" Cecil murmured. "I wish she were awake..."

"I do not want to interrupt you, Cecil, but wouldn't it be better to concentrate on Mysidia, first? You do not know if the woman spoke the truth, but you have much reason to believe that Mysidia might have had trouble with monsters, too," a dark voice said. A man with long black hair and elegant, though haughty features had just entered the room -- it was Golbez, Cecil's brother.

Once again, Golbez remarks, which always seemed to be bitter and ironical, angered Cecil - this time even more as he knew that his brother was right

"I should have thought of that, too.. It seems my mind is occupied too much with Dawn." He tried to stay friendly.

"You did not interrupt us, Golbez, and I have to admit that you're right. Mysidia should be our first aim -- at least until Dawn wakes up and can tell us more. I will send a message to Tororia, however..." The others nodded in apprehension.

"So – does anyone want to accompany me to Mysidia?" Cecil looked around the room.

"Do you really think that it is a good idea for you to go to Mysidia, Cecil?" Golbez asked, his voice rather sharp. "If I understand correctly, it was you who--"

"Golbez! You can be assured that the Elder trusts me..." Cecil cut him short, his voice bearing more anger than he wanted to show. Golbez just smiled due to this comment, which set Cecil's blood boiling altogether - since his brother had arrived in Baron, he could not stop contradicting everything Cecil said.

"We let you into our midst, too - no matter what you have done..." The talking in the group stopped abruptly and everyone was looking at the two brothers. Cecil was at once sorry for the harsh words he had spoken before. "I'm making everything worse..." However, to his surprise Golbez was still smiling and even nodded towards him. In fact, it seemed nearly apprehensive.

Cecil frowned. "Does it make him happy if I talk to him that way?"

Rosa cleared her throat and tried to resolve the situation: "I'm sure that Golbez was only worried about you, Cecil... There's no need for this, though - the Elder is indeed a friend of Cecil and most Mysidians surely hold no more grudge against Baron's past deeds... It will even help to strengthen the diplomatic ties between Mysidia and Baron, if the King of Baron himself makes his appearance and is worried about Mysidia's safety..."

"Well spoken, Rosa. You're truly worthy of the title 'Queen'..:" Yang smiled, while Cecil stared speechless at his wife, although he could also not hide his pride in spite of her wise words. She caught his glance and, not able to suppress a giggle, winked. Just then Cecil remarked that he had forgotten completely about his former anger and embarrassment concerning Golbez's words. 

"So - it is settled then. I would ask you, Yang to come with me, too. Even if there is no emergency in Mysidia, it would be good to have as many leaders next to my side in order to plan further steps," Cecil said.

Yang nodded. "It will be my pleasure to accompany you, as always."

"Well - then let's go!" Edge exclaimed and jumped from his seat.

"Edge?" Cecil looked puzzled.

The blue-haired ninja looked at him, hurt. "But Cecil, you said all leaders! So the greatest king of all - that's me!" Yang and Cecil exchanged glances, though both knew that they had no chance in stopping Edge from his plans, and so the Paladin nodded. "All right.  I guess Palom and Porom will want to come with us, too -- it was hard enough to explain to them why they had to stay home last time. Kain, Rydia - I'd like to ask you to stay here for I fear that the monster attack was not the last one and I don't want to leave Baron defenceless."

Rydia nodded happily for the happenings of late with the blocked path to the Underworld had left the slender caller worried and exhausted, and she probably was happy for any rest she could get. "She also might be glad to be out of reach from Edge." Cecil had to grin inwardly -- he was very well aware of the difficult relationship the caller and the ninja had.

To his surprise Kain did not seem as happy as the caller. "Are you sure that you won't need me?" he asked, his question sounding strangely half-hearted.

Cecil was irritated by Kain's reaction. "This is not a matter of needing you or not, Kain. I just thought that--"

"What Cecil wants to say is that another person here may need you more than they will," Rosa interrupted her husband, smiling. "From what I hear Diane was already quite nervous when you left her behind last time, as we went to the tower of Bab-il."

Kain bit his lip. "Yes, you're right. It would not be very nice of me to leave her alone again." He smiled mischievously. "Besides that's just what Cid would probably want!" The friends laughed, though Cecil wondered secretly if his old friend, the chief engineer of Baron and also father of Diane, would have laughed about the joke as well...

"If Kain stays in Baron, why does Rydia have to stay here as well?" Edge obviously was not too happy about the idea of leaving the caller behind.

Cecil had to suppress a grin. "Does that mean that you want to stay here after all?"

Seeing the sudden happy looks on the faces of his friends, Edge quickly denied: "No! Of course I want to come with you all!"

"We'll meet at the airship in 3 hours. Edge, will you please inform Palom and Porom?"

Cecil stood up.

Edge winced. "If I must..."

Sighing, he left the room with most of the others.

"I'm going to look after Dawn!" Rosa exclaimed, brushing the arm of her husband tenderly, before she left the room.

Cecil smiled and was just about to leave the parlour as well, when Golbez laid his hand on his shoulder, thus keeping him back. "May I talk with you, Cecil?" he asked, drawing his hand quickly away, as if he feared that his touch would show too much affection.

"Of course…" Cecil could not hide a hint of displeasure in his voice for usually discussions with Golbez were not too pleasant a matter. Besides, the Paladin could already guess what Golbez wanted to talk about. He decided to forestall the other: "You want to talk about the fact that I did not ask you to accompany us, right?"

Golbez raised an eyebrow, showing once again the smile Cecil so feared – he feared it, as it was not transparent, being bitter and mocking at once, expressing disdain for others, as it seemed to express disdain for the dark-haired man himself.

"Not really - I didn't expect you to ask me." Golbez stated.

Cecil frowned, cursing himself for presuming too much, again. "Then what did you want to talk with me about?"

For a moment worry seemed to flare up in Golbez's dark eyes. "I just wanted to advise you again to be careful - you do not know how much the people of Mysidia really trust you. I'm not telling you this to insult you, but as one who knows how are hard it can be to gain trust," the dark-haired man said, calmly.

Surprised by the earnestness of Golbez's words, Cecil tried to smile. "Maybe I'm really too hard on him. He only worries about me.."

 "I understand what you mean and I have to apologize for my behavior just now… My nerves seem to be worn out a bit," he told his brother.

"No need to apologize -- I did not feel hurt. You only spoke out what you thought to be the truth."

"What I thought to be truth? Is he implying tha—" Cecil decided to let things rest. After all, he had not started to quarrel with his brother so far and was glad about that. "I'm going then... And don't worry about the Mysidian people..." He left for the door.

"Do not forget that others may not judge you concerning the "truth", but on account of their own ideas of it," Golbez said behind Cecil's back.

"Being king does not mean that you have to set more trust into people than people might set into you."

Cecil stopped abruptly. "But being a Paladin means that... and being human..." Without turning around to face his brother, he added in a very controlled and calm manner:  "You really should talk to Dawn when she's awake. She might give you some interesting insights about yourself…"

Golbez chuckled slightly. "I'm looking forward to it…" From out of the corner of his eye, Cecil could see that his brother had turned around and had went to the fireplace to stare into the flames, showing Cecil unmistakably that there was noting else to talk about.

"It's like he is closing the door to the reality, only living in his own world in this moment... Though I wonder how this world looks?" With a sigh, the Paladin left the room.

As he entered the hall, he spotted Kain leaning against the wall next to the door with folded arms.

"You're still here?" Cecil asked, rather absentmindedly.

A frown crept onto Kain's face. "He did it again, didn't he?"

"What?" Cecil asked, though he knew very well what his friend was getting at.

"I'm speaking about Golbez. You two do not get along very well... I can see that he made you upset once more."

Cecil smiled faintly -- the problematic relationship between him and his brother was a fact their friends were well aware of.

Still, he shook his head: "It's nothing..."

Kain looked at him with that "don't give me that" look. "Cecil…"

"Yeah, all right. We do not get along well," the Paladin admitted. "But it's not his fault, but... but.." He sighed. "I don't even know whose fault it is! Maybe we just need more time..."

Kain looked sceptical. "If you think so... Still, know that you can count on me. I know Golbez's soul better than anyone else does…" The long-haired, blond man cast his eyes to the ground.

"Kain..." Cecil watched his friend intently -- he nearly had forgotten that for the ex-Dragoon, Golbez's appearance was not easy to cope with either.

"Every time he sees him, he surely gets reminded of his own, dark past which was so bound up with my brother's own one…"

Suddenly, Kain's surprised reaction to Cecil's proposition to stay in Baron made more sense. "Maybe he fears that I did not ask him to come along because I'm mistrusting him…?"

The Paladin took a step towards his friends, laying a hand on his shoulder, thus urging him to look him fully into the face. "Kain…" he said, his eyes full of sympathy, "I wanted to talk with you about our discussion in the parlour. Of course you can come with us -- you're always welcome. I just thought that you wanted to be with Diane and--"

Kain shook his head. "Don't worry. I don't know what's gotten into me..." He bit his lip. "I love Diane... I really do, but for a moment..." he paused, searching desperately for words. "I honestly don't know… Maybe it was the call of the battlefield or something like that…"

Cecil smiled. "Or maybe you just wanted to get Cid out of the way…"

Kain smirked. "Who's escaping his mother-in-law, my dear king of Baron?"

Both men laughed - Rosa's mother Margaret, the official 'dragon' of Baron was always good for a joke - as long as she was missing out on the fun others made of her.

"I just wanted to tell you that I trust you, Kain," Cecil said, suddenly serious again. Their gazes locked for quite some time, the full meaning of these words understandable only to Kain, Cecil and probably Rosa. The others knew only of Kain's betrayal back then during the fight against Zeromus - for Cecil, the 'problems' with the Dragoon had not ended then, however. As his friend had returned to Baron only some months ago, he had once again stirred mistrust in Cecil, and only through the help of Dawn, the crisis had been solved in the end. However, the whole matter had not been really Kain's fault, but mainly the Paladin's own one – Cecil had been the one who had falsely suspected that Kain and Rosa were having an affair.

Kain knew what his friend was thinking. "Now, don't start to apologize... You're still the better one of us two!" he grinned and suddenly embraced Cecil, patting him on the shoulder. "I wish you much success, my friend."

Cecil smiled. He was glad that in these troubled times he had the support of his old friend, again.

~*~

Later they all met at the landing place. "Be careful!" Rosa kissed her husband.

"Don't worry Rydia, I'll be careful!" Edge said to the young caller, obviously expecting a kiss, as well.

"I wasn't worried…" Rydia smiled and patted the ninja on the shoulder:. "Just don't get on the nerves of the others too much!" She winked and started to return to the castle.

"Me? Never! I'll get you a nice souvenir from the voyage!" Edge shouted after her.

"Yeah – how about a frog... We could turn someone into it!" Porom giggled next to him.

"Porom!" Palom scolded, though had to giggle herself . No matter what happened, the two wizards seemed always to be in a good mood, especially when they could tease Edge.

The ninja rolled his eyes. "I cannot believe I'm always somehow stuck with you two..."

"Hey, we heard that!" Palom grinned. "Be careful or we'll tell that to the Elder! He might turn you into a pig.."

Her brother nodded, his brown ponytail whipping furiously. "Yeah, or he'll give you some strange poison like the barkeep did back then with Cec—OUCH!" His sister stopped his speech just in time for Cecil was already looking over to them rather sourly, obviously not amused at all.

"He didn't mean it," Palom said, apologizing

"I know…" Cecil winked and smiled quickly - again, Golbez words about a possible mistrust of the Mysidians were ringing in his ears and he suddenly wondered whether there might be some truth into them after all. He remembered the Mysidian delegation, which had come to Baron after the earthquake at Agart.

"In fact there was much distrust in the heads of these people... But maybe they'll just need time..." the Paladin frowned, his blue eyes cast down on the dusty ground of the landing place.

"Cecil! Are you dreaming?" Edge called from the board of the airship. "We cannot start without you - unless you want me to fly this thing!"

"Heaven forbids that!" Cecil laughed and quickly boarded the airship, though his mind still was troubled. "I wonder what will await us.. No, I wonder what will await me in Mysidia..."