Chapter 13

Violet violence

Golbez was leading the way with lengthy, fast steps.

"Why the sudden hurry? What exactly did FuSoYa tell you? Is there a new danger threatening the Blue Planet? Has Zemus returned?" Edward panted, trying to keep up with the group.

"If he returns, I'll be sure to let you know first. But I can reassure you that I am still the only threat here," Golbez snapped. He had told his companions about the meeting with FuSoYa, but had not let slip one word about Ko Min.

"Could she really be in league with him?" The longer he thought about it, the more doubts surged up in him. What if Ko Min has chosen Leah because she resembled Dawn? Could this Lunarian even know about her? He had to ask FuSoYa a lot of questions…

"So this tunnel system leads to Mysidia after all! I told you that you could trust me!" Tristan triumphed. Golbez would have expected that the swindler would sound more annoyed, seeing that until now they hadn't found any treasure, but then again, he was probably looking forward to--

"You will give me the money when we have reached Mysidia, right?" grinned the thief.

"You know that I don't need you any longer to reach it, right?" Golbez retorted.

"Since you are going to the moon anyway, you won't need the money anymore - so why don't you do something useful with it!?"

"And the something useful is you, you little--"

"Golbez…." Leah's voice interrupted him gently. "Will you really leave the Blue Planet? Isn't it a bit early to decide such a thing?"

"I will go - it is not a decision to do so, but a necessity," the dark haired wizard replied.

"Why?"

Golbez stopped to look at her. "Isn't this obvious?"

"If the past is too painful, you can only run away from it…" Edward murmured, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

"I am not running away! What do you know of the grief I--" As he beheld the bard's gaze, Golbez quieted his voice. "My mistake. Of course you know enough of grief… But then you also know that you get weary of life… that at some point you don't feel anymore… be it through grief or guilt."

Edward gave no reply, but bowed his head, ashamed.

"Your talk -- the talk of all of you is really making me sick." Leah shook her silvery locks vehemently. "You constantly feel sorry for what happened in the past, for what you failed to do and for what you did!"

"I'm not!" Tristan announced with raised finger.

She whirled around. "You don't care about anything much except money, Tristan. The point is that I have nothing to grieve about, no guilt to carry and still I wish I had! I--ah, it's no use right now… Let's get out of here, okay? Maybe someone in Mysidia will be able to help me…" She stomped forward, lost in her thoughts.

Tristan rolled his eyes. "Women…They are always so unpredictable!"

In that moment, Golbez wished that Leah was just that.

Just an unpredictable woman.

xOx

"Leah, do you really mean what you said? That you'd rather carry the grief of the past than having no past at all?" Edward asked softly, out of the hearing range of Golbez and Tristan.

"I--" Leah bit her bottom lip. "No, I would not want to carry such a grief as you do… though your grief is certainly also connected with fond memories, right? I heard your lyre play on the beach… Was the song about her?"

"You heard it?" Edward looked at her, surprised. "Well, I guess every song I do is about her and for her…"

"I thought so. But you should play for yourself, not for her."

"For myself?" Edward exclaimed, upset. "You sound like Tristan who is always only thinking about his own well being--"

"No, I didn't mean it that way," Leah placated him. "You should play it for yourself to remember what wonderful times you had with Anna - that such great love as the one between you two could exist. And drawing strength out of it, you could play the song for someone else, someday. Your music is beautiful - it should be used for the living…"

Her words were confusing Edward and he decided on a light approach. "Golbez thought that the song was trashy."

Leah sighed. "What do you expect? Golbez is so afraid of feelings that of course he would hate music."

"Afraid? I thought that was my role…"

The silver haired woman regarded him friendly. "I don't know much about you, but you don't seem afraid… To live out one's grief so much, not to forget like Tristan would do and find easy comfort in life - you are taking the hard road in life and are just standing in the middle of it. But you are afraid to walk down the line--"

"Or going back. I abandoned my Kingdom…"

"Yes, but to go against the exceptions of others is something I would call courage, too." She suddenly averted her gaze. "Just as Golbez is still thinking that I'm Dawn and I don't know if--" She looked at him, again. "You knew her, too, right? Am I really like her?"

"I--I cannot really tell. But you speak… interesting things…" For some reason the talk with Leah was making Edward feel buoyant - an emotion he had not experienced for what seemed ages to him. "I… I really hope that you will find out who you are…" he said, a small smile crossing his face.

"Maybe I already know…" Leah murmured, then pointed forward: "Look, Tristan and Golbez have found another teleportation device. Finally… I'm really sick of these caves - they are giving me a headache!" She fastened her steps, leaving the bard behind.

"Going down the hard road… Maybe I should do just that - continue walking… and see what awaits me at the end." Still, a soft voice in Edward's soul was holding him back:

/Play another song for me, Edward./

xOx

To everyone's relief the teleportation machine was still usable and functioned similar to the Serpent Way. Neither Tristan nor Leah had much experience in traveling in such a way and were glad when the strenuous teleport had ended. The device spat them out in a small cave, where they were greeted by crisp, fresh winter air, which had had forced its way through the cave entrance; a harbinger of the cold snow falling outside.

"Ugh… Somewhere along the lines I thought that I would puke…" Tristan stumbled forward and fell on all fours into the white flakes on the ground. "Just one word: Camp."

"That will have to wait for later. I want to speak with FuSoYa, first. See - the town is not far away." Golbez crushed Tristan's one hope - and wakened another one in Edward.

"Does this mean that we get to spend the night in a room in the inn?"

"For you, this certainly will be the case. I should not dwell longer than necessary in Mysidia, as I'm certainly not welcome there. After the meeting with FuSoYa I will immediately set out for Mt. Ordeals. Alone."

"But--" Leah wanted to protest, but was cut short by Tristan.

"Hey, we all know that our Master Wizard here can be fickle. At least right now, he still needs our help - or better, my help."

Golbez raised an eyebrow. "And why would that be?"

"Well, someone needs to get hold of some discreet clothing for you and King Edward. Or were you thinking about walking into town without any disguise?" Tristan inquired, grinning.

Sighing, Golbez had to admit once again that his nerve-shattering companion had a point…

xOx

Pulling the hood further overhis face, Golbez entered the tavern. He didn't know how the swindler had gotten hold of the wide dark magician cloaks for him and Edward and just hoped that theft hadn't been involved in Tristan's methods of obtaining. After all, he wanted to bring as little attention to the group as possible. 

"Although I wonder why a disguise like this one is even supposed to be discreet…"

However, whereas in any other town a hooded group of people would have certainly stirred up mistrust, the local dress code in Mysidia consisted of long, wide and covering clothes. The only ones who sometimes attracted attention were Leah and Tristan, since they were still clothed in their usual attire.

Tristan didn't seem to mind the interest of the wizards much, though, and calmly surveyed the smoky room. "I bet all these wizards here have magical treasures they are just burning to loose!" Businesslike, he started rubbing his hands together.

"The only thing burning will be you if you decide to mess with them," Golbez grumbled. "No gaming or other mischief while I'm away."

"Geez, aren't we protective again…" his flaxen haired companion grimaced.

"You are going to speak to FuSoYa alone? Do you like keeping secrets before us?" Although Edward still tried to act careful in Golbez's presence, he couldn't hide his discontent.

The dark wizard shot the other an annoyed glance. "Let's say that I'd… like to keep you safe and sometimes it is safer not to know some things. No offence meant to you, Miss Coven." He turned around, interested in her reaction -- only to find out that she was gone.

"Where has she disappeared to all of a sudden? I could swear that she was next to me when we entered the tavern…" Edward looked around.

Golbez's eyes narrowed darkly. "She probably has gone to find out something about her past… I'm sure that she will return when her… research has ended. I will look for FuSoYa now. Keep an eye on our friend here, will you, King Edward? He is already trying to work his mundane charms on the magic users here…"

He motioned towards Tristan, who was already deeply involved in a conversationwith the red clothed wizard behind the bar.

Edward nodded. "I think he just wants to order a drink, but I'll still try to take care of--Golbez?"

However, Golbez had already made his way towards the darkest corners of the establishment, his thoughts not on the meeting with his uncle, but on Leah...

Had she gone to meet up with Ko Min? To plan her next attack? Of course, he shouldn't jump to conclusions, but…

"I will ask Fu SoYa about it."

"Ask me about what?" It was his voice and Golbez expected the white to blind him again, but the inside of the tavern was as dull, smoky and dark as before.

"Come over here, child," the order sounded from a table in the corner.

"So you are using the local clothing trend to your advantage as well, I see…" Golbez grinned as he sat down next to the hooded figure.

"The Mysidians believe that appearances only confuse - it is the inside, the mind and the heart of a person that tells the truth about them," FuSoYa explained. "It is something you should think about sometimes." 

"Uncle, I can assure you that my outer appearance completely fits my inner world. But you surely haven't come to teach me lessons about style, have you? So, would you be so kind as to explain to me why the Lunarians want me to raise the Great Whale? And who is this Ko Min who followed me?"

"Maybe she has nothing to do with all this…"

FuSoYa lay back in his chair like an old man who was about to tell his grandchildren a story.

"Golbez, the Lunarians have long accompanied the humans and have aided them with their knowledge. However, it were inhabitants of the Blue Planet and not Lunarians that beat Zeromus… We, the Lunarian Elders, have begun to realize that times are changing and that humans may be more independent than we believed." The old man ignored the frown building on Golbez's face. "More so, that an evil as Zeromus appeared from our very midst was a sign that maybe our people have neglected the Lunarian development for too long, that we, the superior race, were too sure of ourselves, too sure that evil could never grow in the minds and hearts of us "wise" people. But we were wrong and as a consequence we decided to continue our endless sleep after the defeat of Zeromus and to leave the orbit of the Blue Planet. Thus, we hoped to protect the humans from any more evil coming out from the moon."

"But still, the moon returned once again - driven by Klu Ya's force…" Golbez accentuated the name sharply. "And I should have slept endlessly, but now--"

Out of the black depths of the hood, FuSoYa's green eyes flashed him a look of annoyance. "Child, this is not about you, nor about your father. No matter who brought the moon back, the point is that we Lunarians, despite our great powers of the mind, are once more dependent on the help of people like you or your brother. Golbez - the time of the glorious Lunarian race is long gone and the Blue Planet does not need us any longer… Especially we, the Elders, are tired of protecting something we cannot protect. So, we should leave now. That is at least my opinion. However, there are others who think that the Lunarians are indeed an advanced race and that the fault for the problems the Lunarians caused the Blue Planet lies solely on characters like Zeromus or--"

"Me." Golbez concluded hoarsely.

FuSoYa nodded. "That is correct. This is why Ko Min has followed you - he is a traditionally oriented Lunarian who does not want to accept that our time here on the Blue Planet draws near, once more. By killing you, he wants to prove that we Lunarians can very well take responsibility for our… creations and in you, he sees a threat that is too dangerous to be left on any of the two worlds."

"I understand his motivation." Golbez's eyes were unreadable. "And you are here to--"

"My real mission is to find out why the moon has returned and send it back on its real orbit. Also, I am here to ensure that all Lunarians, including Ko Min and your father, if he is still alive, return to the moon to embark on the final voyage."

"Forever sleeping…"

"For this we need to raise the great Whale once again - not only to take us back to the moon, but also to destroy the last bridge between the Blue Planet and our home, now, that the teleport in Damcyan's cave is of no use anymore."

"The cave… Tell him about Leah…"

"Speaking of that: How did you know that you would find me there?" Golbez asked.

"We didn't." Fu So Ya explained. "Only through Ko Min's escape we remembered the location of the transportation device. You cannot believe how many things you forget when sleeping too much... It is a nearly impossible coincidence that you were looking for the device, too. Originally, we were just hoping that your brother would raise the Great Whale once more, knowing that you wished to return to the moon." Sadness was now wavering the old man's voice. "Speaking of that, I can inform you that the Lunarian council has officially given me permission to take you back with me, if you want. You stressed often enough that you wanted to continue your endless sleep and this time it will be endless if you wish. After the moon loosens itself out of the Blue Planet's orbit, we will make sure that it will never return again. The time has come for the human race to exist without us - we have left our heritage in people like your brother."

"I understand…" Golbez murmured, lost in the sound of the word "endless".

"Endless sleep… The end of endless suffering…"

"So, one last time we need your help in finding the reason why the moon has returned. I might be a magic user but I'm not used to living here - Ko Min is cunning and I would probably be no match for him…" Indeed, Fu SoYa looked weary. "You should not underestimate him, as well. He wields powerful white magic and we cannot say if he travels alone. He is skilled in the powers of the mind and the tongue as most of us - it shouldn't be difficult for him to find helpers for his cause - especially as many people on the Blue Planet are probably… not content with your existence here," he explained with unusual carefulness.

However, Golbez was not interested in the things he knew anyway, but in the things he didn't…

"Ask him about Leah…"

"Child? Do you still have questions? If not, you should go and help your companions. Your friend, the young King, is just about to get tricked by one of these transformation mages…" FuSoYa informed Golbez.

"No… no. No questions. I will leave then and clear things with Klu Ya once and for all." The dark haired wizard rose.

"Wait!" FuSoYa tried to hold him back. "One last thing: Remember that the truth may not be what you think it to be…"

"That's nothing new…" Golbez grumbled darkly and, without looking back, made his way towards Edward.

The young King of Damcyan was currently getting worked on by a blue haired dancer clothed in a revealing leotard.

"If you just close your eyes, all your worries will disappear!" she purred.

"Uh… Really?" It wasn't clear if Edward was confused or fascinated.

"You'd better come with me, unless you want to spend your life rolling in the mud and eating potato peels…" Under the angry muttering of the dancer, Golbez sighed and pulled Edward with him towards the exit of the tavern.

"What?" The bard looked at him with big eyes. "She was one of these mages in disguise? Cecil told me about them, but this one was so friendly..." A heavy blush coloured Edward's face.

"Well, I guess that it is only natural for humans to react to a pretty lady like her…" Golbez noted dryly.

"What? No, I would never… I mean I--" All of a sudden, Edward got so worked up that he could only talk in fragments. "If there's anyone who is reacting to pretty women it's--" Biting down on his lip, the bard fell silent without ending the sentence.

Golbez hadn't listened to him, anyway, being busy with finding Tristan. "You might be interested to know that my business here is finished." He called over to the young man, who grabbed a little bag from the bar before joining Golbez and Edward.

"What has the old Lunarian told you? Are we under attack by a foreign race?"

"Even if we were, I'm sure that you would only see the lucrative possibilities in it… I hope that this isn't some money you cheated out of the barkeep." Golbez pointed towards the little pouch.

Tristan gave him a hurt look. "Although I am in need of some money, since you still haven't given me my share, these are just herbs. I bought them in case somebody gets bitten again by something so that I can--"

"Sell them to the person?" A female voice asked cheerfully.

"Leah… where were you?" Golbez asked and to his surprise his voice sounded hoarse.

"I went to the Mysidian archives to look up some names in the name registers stored there… Sadly, I found no record of a person named Leah in the last thirty years…" the young woman explained surprisingly calm. "I hope you had more success. Have you talked with your uncle, Golbez? Is he still here?"

The dark wizard turned around - the table in the corner was empty. "No, he has already left…"

"Left like the opportunity for me to ask him about Leah."

Golbez turned to look at her, at the encouraging and smiling face and at those eyes with a gaze of bottomless blue, now partly hidden by silvery locks, in which snowflakes were still clinging.

"No."

He didn't want to know. Still, he could clearly feel how the uncertainty was feeding on him, feeding on his patience, feeding on his control.

"Why are looking at me in such a strange way? Since you met your uncle in the cave you have been behavingso… strange…" Leah regarded him, frowning. 

"It is nothing. All the… revelations FuSoYa explained to me are just a bit… surprising," Golbez replied without showing any emotion. "I now have another reason to go to Mt. Ordeals. I have to find out if KluYa is responsible for the return of the moon and, if so, to reverse the process so that all remaining Lunarians can continue their sleep - this time forever."

"So the Lunarians will leave the Planet forever... Cecil will be interested - and sad to hear this," Edward remarked quietly.

"I do hope that he will understand the necessity of this step. And I fear that you will have the honour of explaining all of this to him, King Edward, as I won't be around anymore when the moon has left the orbit… with me." Golbez said.

The bard shook his head bitterly. "But I - I'm not sure if I will return to Baron, soon. I don't know where I should go - I feel out of place in Mysidia, too… "

"King Edward, a Kingdom is waiting for you. It would be better to take the transport to the cave in Damcyan and take the hovercraft back to the coast. As you all should do." Golbez's eyes were only on Leah, but he couldn't say whether the look she gave him was sad or angry or meant something else altogether…

"Can't we talk about our future plans tomorrow?" Tristan yawned. "I am tired and no matter if you really want us to go or not, no amount of money in the world will make me travel today with this stomach turning device once more." For a moment, he looked awake, again. "And then there's still the matter of the payment."

"I agree with Tristan - at least when it comes to teleporting once more, today." Leah now joined into the discussion.

This wasn't like Golbez had planned it. "Well, then why don't you take a room at the inn and I--"

"Your concern, if it is concern, is considerate, but for once I will prefer a cold, hard bed in some cave over staying the night in a town." Edward said, blushing slightly again. "The Mysidians are too creepy for my taste - they are either trying to cast a spell on you or trying to poison you, like they did with Cecil." 

"So it's decided - let's set up camp near the teleport cave in the woods." Leah smiled, though it looked slightly pained.

Golbez wanted to protest before it was too late, but his companions had left the tavern before he could say anything… Or had wanted to say.

"Maybe it is better to live with the suspicion for some time longer… than to live without anything at all…"

xOx

"While you try to get things a bit cozy here, I'll collect some wood - we will need every bit of warmth we can get in this cold..." Not long after they had reached the cave side in the snowy woods, Leah disappeared into the bushes.

"Why the hurry?" Golbez raised an eyebrow while looking after her, although he had not much time to brood about this, as Tristan had decided that it was now payment time.

After a half hour of annoying negotiations and several fits of rage on Golbez's side, Leah still hadn't returned, although neither Tristan, who was busily counting the money, nor Edward, who was lost in his own world once more and was watching dreamily how some icicles hanging from a branch were melting, were obviously concerned about that. They didn't even seem to notice when Golbez left the camp site, following Leah's trail through the soft snow.

It didn't take long until he spotted her from afar, her back turned to him, a clear view of her surroundings partly blocked by the white laden trees of the forest.

"What is she doing? It doesn't look like collecting wood…"

Then his ears caught Leah's voice.

"I haven't told him yet…"

"In this wilderness with whom could she talk with, except--" Now there was clearly a male voice talking.

"I see… Well, then…" Then there was a rustle - and a piece of blue disappeared in the bushes. Golbez lost no time, storming forward wordlessly, nearly running over Leah.

"Golbez!" she cried out, startled.

"I was right…" Disappointment rose within him, mixed with rage; dead, cold rage.

"Where did he go?" Golbez grabbed Leah's wrist and whirled her around.

"That hurts! I told you not to do that again!" she protested. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me! I know that you were hired to kill me -- because you resemble Dawn, he chose you as a bait to confuse me!"

"Chose me? Are you mad? Let me go!" Leah tried to get out of Golbez's grasp, but it was like iron. Something seemed to have snapped in the black haired wizard, he could no longer think clearly and as he looked at her, her blue gaze seemed treacherous and false to him.

"I need to know, now!"

"Who was this man? Answer! It's Ko Min, isn't it?"

"I don't know his name! He… he said that he knew me... He told me… I can't... I don't want to talk about it... I'm confused..." Suddenly, tears were standing in Leah's eyes.

Golbez was too enraged to see them, still lost in the betrayal which seemed to be hidden in her eyes and his hand closed tighter around Leah's wrist, drawing the woman nearer to him with force. "He told you to kill me, right?"

Leah's tears didn’t flow, yet, as they were held back by the pain and the bitterness which was now filling her gaze. "Kill you? No… but… but maybe someone should. I… I thought that you were about to change… That you couldn't hurt me…"

Just then Golbez noticed for the first time that her hand felt slightly limp in his grip, how fragile her wrist was, how he could feel every single bone. Other details of perception returned to his consciousness and he suddenly got aware of the tears standing in her shock widened eyes -- he let go of her immediately, seeing the look on her face change not to one of relief… but hate.

"Coward! Why don't you bring it to an end if you feel so intimidated by me? Even Tristan is better than you - he's at least not just talk, but also action! And Edward is at least not afraid about his own feelings! You mistrusted me all the way and were only a waiting for a moment like this, right? You don't even understand what-- Ah, it's no use - I wish I'd never met you!" The strength was leaving Leah, her tears now flowing; she turned around abruptly and, holding her hurting wrist, ran away. On her way, she brushed into Edward who had just emerged out of the bushes.

"Leah… and Golbez. Here you are. What's the matter?" the bard asked, worried. Leah only shook her head and stormed past him.

"Golbez, what has happened here?" Edward's voice was not as soft as it used to be. "Did you hurt her?"

The black haired wizard looked down at his hand. "Yes… I--" It sounded unbelieving.

"You… you damn--" Something seemed to snap in Edward and he approached the still rigid Golbez -

Whack.

A fist which had been aimed for Golbez's nose hit him in the mouth - although it wasn't a hurting blow, it still was enough to knock the long haired man from his feet and make his lip bleed.

"Edward?" Even forgetting to raise an eyebrow, Golbez touched his swollen upper lip, before looking up at Edward. The young man was panting heavily, his fists still balled, his expression half afraid, and half in rage.

"Leave her alone! It's enough that you destroyed my life, that you killed Anna and many others, that you fought against your brother!"

Golbez wiped away the blood on his lip with the back of his hand, trying to regain part of his façade in raising his eyebrow... "I know that my guilt is--"

"Don't talk about this damn guilt! Your guilt, your pain, your suffering - but you made us suffer… So make it better!" There was no more fear now in Edward's voice - only anger.

"I cannot return the dead. Nothing I do will make things better for you--"

"No! Try to make yourself better! We are all here to help you; even I forced myself to trust you! And you treat us so badly in return… why couldn't you leave Leah alone instead of trying to seduce her?" Edward spat out.

The façade fell, the eyebrow as well, leaving behind only confusion in Golbez's face. "Seduce? What are you talking about?"

Edward uttered a sad, bitter laugh. "Everyone can see that you're in love with her..." In a sudden fit of strong emotion, he turned his face away, no longer wishing to see the dark wizard's face.

Golbez's used the moment for a last attempt to hide his bewilderment and shock: "Aren't you afraid that it might be dangerous to treat me and talk to me in such a way?" he asked, though it came out not threatening, but weakly.

Edward looked at him, coldly, his hot breath steaming angrily in the frosty air. "You know what? Maybe I even went into those caves in Kaipo to die… Most emotions have long left me, fear was the one that stayed and lately I feel even too tired to be afraid… even when it comes to you! Leah is the first person since Anna's death who helped me to feel something again and I will not give you the triumph of taking away her, too." With that, he turned around, leaving behind Golbez, who was still sitting in the snow.

"Is he in love with her, too? Too? I'm not in love, am I?"

When had he ever felt so miserable? It had felt like his fingers had crushed the bones of her wrist…

"Have I really hurt her? But she tried to kill me… Or…"

Golbez still didn't know what Leah was up to, couldn't judge her, couldn't think rationally when it came to her. But why did he care anyway? What difference was between sleeping endlessly on the moon or dying here? The grey inside of him was so strong - he felt so weary…

"Why don't I know what to do?"

He should get to his feet, go to the mountain and then…

"I can't even find the strength to stand up…"

Even Edward was standing up for the things he believed, to fight for something, against something.

"I believe in nothing… And the only thing I fight is myself…"

And even this fight, he was loosing -- it seemed to Golbez that his innermost being was fading into nothingness.

Just as the snow around him was slowly melting.