Chapter 11

Vermilion Truths

"Anna ---" He reached for the burgundy locks, but the silky strands became liquid in his hands and stained his fingers carmine.

"Why must love have the same colour as blood?"

Like she did nearly every night, she was looking at him with big, but dead eyes and still he preferred this sight over any living being during the day.

"Why hasn'tdeath the same colour as love? If everything was black, maybe I could follow her…"

/Don't follow me - turn back…/ Why was Anna's once so dulcet voice now so hard?

"Don't send me away, Anna… Don't you love me?"

He reached out for her, once more, this time touching the golden velvet folds of her gown - the material seeped into his flesh, making his hands feel like iron, but still he did not let go of her…

"I will not let you go…"

/You don't have to…/

Finally, the dulcet voice was there again and Edward forgot about the heaviness of his limbs.

 /Don't ever let me go… Always stay with me…/ Anna's words sounded so sweet, but why was she crying then?

He reached for her hand to comfort her, but her flesh felt like it was made out of thin glass - before he could pull back, it broke into thousands of little shards, taking the rest of her slender figure with it in a shining, collapsing mountain…

Edward was left kneeling alone before the heap of the transparent, sparkling pieces that once had been his love, his life… With trembling hands, he reached out for it like he had reached out for her before, taking hold of a crystalline splinter and closing his hand around it …

"Just to feel her lovely touch once more…" He watched, fascinated, as the shard buried itself in his flesh, blood staining the carmine of his skin even darker, the vermilion pain spreading slowly thought his veins, reaching his sight…

He woke up with a start, uttering a little cry. Red… Why was everything red around him? Why was it so hard to breathe? He tried to slow his breathing down, blinking; still, the red would not vanish… Slowly, his senses achieved a sense for reality again and he perceived more… Leather... the smell of leather...

A second later, he realized that he was in the hovercraft, more exactly lying on his stomach on the red backseat of it. He pushed himself up with his arms and looked around: Sea, rocky mountains, grey sky…

"Edward? I can call you Edward, right?" Tristan called from a rocky slope that he was just sliding down from.

"You--" the fair haired bard began.

"Are you feeling well? Nothing's broken?"

"I--"

"Suppose not." Tristan had now reached the craft. "It was good luck the hovercraft went with us…"

"It--"

"And it even functions..."

Just then Edward gave up - even in his half sleepy condition, he had realized by now that Tristan was only posing questions for himself to answer.

"I wonder what happened to Leah and Golbez…" Tristan unbuttoned his vest and wrung it out.

This time, Edward did not even try to speak.

"Aren't you worried? Why are you not talking to me?" Tristan first gave Edward a skeptical look, then shifted it to his vest. "Great--now it's wet and crumpled…."

Edward held a hand to his forehead and pushed some wet strands of hair away from it. "What happened? I remember water and--"

"Leah fell overboard, Golbez jumped after her and then we were hit by a big wave. I got hold of you and swam with you towards this island. And then the unbelievable happened: Just a bit away from the coast I spotted the hovercraft. So I thought, 'Tristan, BE a man, I mean more of a man than usual!'" He grinned before he cheerfully chattered on: "And I swam out once more, climbed into it and do you know what? It still functioned! Good thing I paid attention earlier to how you steered it. Thus, I was able to bring the craft to the beach and put you in it because this rocky surface is probably mighty uncomfortable to lie upon… So what do you say?" he asked, though his gaze seemed more to say: What will you give me for saving you?

Edward shook his shoulders. "Well, it means that we can get away here - wherever we are…"

"I believe it's the island we wanted to go to, anyway!" Tristan smiled. "Maybe Leah and Golbez were able to make it here, too!"

"Yes… Leah… Hopefully nothing has happened…" Edward hung his head - why did the dream seem to be so strangely real now?

"Hey, don't let yourself hang down! Think positive!"

"Positive? I wish some of Tristan's strength would seep into me… Why--"

"How do you do it?" Edward spoke out the thought, aloud.

Tristan looked at him confused, stopping to knead his vest. "What?"

"How do you do it?" The bard's expression distorted painfully as he tried to find words to build a question with. "Why do you never seem to be afraid? Why… why don't you seem to care? I always feel so helpless… Even now--where do you get your strength from? The strength to forget… the past?"

Tristan's look changed to something nearing earnest. "I don't need strength to forget the past as there's no past I would have to forget…"

"But I thought--"

"No, I'm not like Leah… Of course I remember my mom and the house where I grew up and that cat I had and my dad -- though I'm not sure if he really was my dad… but one can never know these times, I think…" Tristan sighed, nearly bored. "But I don't think about these things often. Sure, they say that the past makes you into what you are in the present or something like that, but if that is so, why not concentrate on the present all along?"

"But if you love someone…"

Tristan uttered a laugh that couldn't be called anything else but disdainful.

"Listen, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I have problems understanding why people would grieve over a lost love… I mean of course no girl is the same. One might have been prettier than the others, one was so funny, the other maybe was especially good at-- at cooking…" he chuckled unequivocally, "and so on and so on… But if you're honest, it's all the same: A jolly good time with a clean place to stay, someone who tells you nice things and good… cooking, that is."

"Then you have never loved…" Slowly, Tristan's attitude was sickening Edward.

"Maybe not." Tristan shrugged. "But if real love would mean that you always would dwell on the past, I wouldn't want to, anyway." It sounded full of conviction. "You live for today and you live for yourself and if another person can make today better for you than if you did it alone, grab her - er, I mean, take the chance."

Edward shook his head. "How… how can you be so cold? That's horrible… Have you never had something you wished to hold onto? Was there never something in your past that you regretted?"

"Regret?" Tristan's eyes got a distant look to them, although his voice was still as easygoing as ever. "If you ask me that way, then there's one thing which I probably decided wrong, but…"

"But you had no choice?" Edward asked gravely. "Life doesn't give you the opportunity to choose…"

"No. I gave myself no choice." Tristan explained proudly. "That's how life goes - my life at least." He put on his vest. "But talking about choices - I think you have no choice now but to take a look at this island together with me. Something might happen to you if you stay here alone. And maybe we'll find the others on our way - or even a treasure cave!"

Edward stumbled out of the craft. "If you really only think of your own well-being, then why did you help me?"

Tristan turned around, and pointing to Edward's royal cloak, he purred sweetly:

"Well, what do you think? Oh, by the way: Here's your lyre. Saved it from the water, as well. Glad that it's still in one piece, aren't you?"

"You want money…" Edward murmured. Suddenly, a terrible thought hit him. "Wait - you said that you swam out to save the hovercraft, but as Leah fell overboard you said that you couldn't swim!" He shivered. As if it wasn't enough that Tristan was avaricious and selfish, he now seemed to be a scrupulous murderer, as well!

The flaxen haired swindler swallowed visibly but still the smile did not leave him. "Hey, it's not what you think. I like this girl - she's pretty and she has no past which makes a lot of things… rather easy…" Tristan grinned mischievously, "but she can take care of herself and even if she didn't, Golbez swam after here, right? There was no need for me to waster my strength on either of those two. Sometimes you have to set priorities and aren't you glad that my priority was withyou?"

"Or rather with my money…" Edward mused darkly, but could do nothing but follow Tristan on shaking legs. At least the other was no killer, just terribly cold… How could someone treat the past as ignorant like this man here did?

Edward remembered Leah's words. "At least you have memories to hold on to…" Still lost partly in the dream of Anna, he wondered for the first time if he didn't hold on too much. A woman living without any memories and a man pretending that he never dwelled on the past both seemed happier than he was… But what should he hold onto instead? What Tristan lived for was beyond his understanding and to be honest, he didn't even want to know more about the man… And Leah… She still had a past to find… And then there was Golbez, who had a past to forget, like he had… And Edward surely didn't want to end up like the dark wizard… Bitter, brooding, cynical…

"Though I still have him to blame the death of my beloved upon… I wonder how it is for Golbez? Except Zemus, there is nobody he could blame, other than himself…"

It had been a long time since he had felt afraid for any other beings other than Anna or himself, but now a slight anxiousness overcame Edward. Not even worrying anymore about Tristan, he truly hoped that Leah and Golbez were still alive. There was a lot he had to ask them… 

xOx

As Golbez and Leah broke up, the rain had lessened a bit - still the sky was a cloudy grey and the wind was blowing roughly. Since the kiss, no one had talked much to the other, though the atmosphere was not cold - Leah was smiling and Golbez had set up the mocking and haughty expression which was so common for himself.

As they reached the beach, they suddenly got aware that in the distance there was something red lying half buried in the sand.

"The hovercraft!" Golbez observed. "That could mean that Edward and Tristan are around here, as well." He approached the vehicle to inspect it. "It looks undamaged, meaning that we can use it to go back if we don't find anything here." Still studying the craft in a bent position, his eyes narrowed. "Have you by chance ever taken a look at Tristan's map, Leah? We might have to rely on your…" he tried to avoid the next word, but couldn't think of a replacement, "memories of it to find the cave on this island…"

There was no answer.

"Leah?"

"I'm right here…" As Golbez turned around, Leah was indeed standing before him. She also had a sword pointed at his throat. His sword, as he growlingly noticed.

"I took it while you were taking the walk. And I've been practicing a bit." Playfully, she waved the blade around before Golbez's face, stopping just with the tip aimed at his forehead.

The wizard was unmoved. "How about aiding me with something constructive instead of fooling around?"

The sword went a bit closer. Leah's eyes were suddenly quite cold and serious; though her lips were still curved into a smile. "Come on, defend yourself!" she demanded.

"Leah, stop joking. I--" Golbez dodged a swing of the sword, which otherwise would have hit him in the shoulder.

"That is enough." He stated impatiently and wanted to grab for the weapon. Leah was faster though and quickly took a step back.

"First the kiss and now this…" To call Leah's behaviour unpredictable was an understatement… 

"Have you gone insane?"

Wordlessly, but still smiling, Leah launched another attack, which Golbez just barely dodged.

"What kind of a wimp are you? Are you holding back because I'm a woman, Mister 'I don't feel like other men'?" Golbez had never experienced Leah teasing him like this before and her words did not fail to ignite anger inside his soul.

"Didn't you say that I had the air of someone used to fighting?" she shouted as she raised the blade for another blow. In fact, Golbez had to admit that she was handling the sword pretty well...

"Stop this play and give me the sword. Why should you attack me in earnest?" he asked with an outstretched hand, though stayed a safe distance to be able to dodge Leah's swings.

"Because I'm sick of this voyage and only want to leave this island without you? And my first attempt at drowning you failed miserably?" Her smile vanished as she lunged forward once more. "The truth is that I've faked my loss of memory and only want that such evil as yourself get eradicated from the face of the Blue Planet…" Her tone had become threatening. Still…

"I don't believe you." Golbez said, the amused look melting from his face. "You just want to test me, but believe me: This game is too dangerous for you."

"Fine - killing you will be all the easier if you don't want to defend yourself. Hiyahhh!" Once more Leah sprinted forward - this time, the side of the sword hit Golbez's shoulder.

"Do you want to make me angry?" Golbez boomed, hoping to frighten her, since the attack had been surprisingly strong…

Another swing hit him, nearly knocking him off his feet. "She's not using the point of the sword…" Still, Golbez quickly picked up a washed up thick branch to defend himself.

"You want to fight with a stick? Shouldn't you use your magic instead?" Though the sword was heavy, Leah wasn't exhausted yet and she started another series of finely dealt blows which Golbez tried to defend with the weapon replacement in his hand.

Crack.

Already the first contact with Leah's blade broke the branch with ease.

Golbez was feeling the anger inside grow, getting out of control; the red rage spreading and swelling… "Stop it - I might hurt you…"

Leah, who had so suddenly turned into an icily cold fighter just shrugged and smiled sweetly - her next few strokes were so quick that Golbez did not even see them coming - they were also well aimed and strong and the next minute he was lying on his back, Leah's sword pointed at his chest.

"Fine, you won. Is this what you wanted?" Golbez tried to get up, but the point of the sword was not wavering.

"I'll kill you now." Leah's voice was a whisper - it sounded so unlike her and slowly, Golbez began to doubt…

"Why would she…"

"Don't you want to defend yourself?" The sharp steel tip came nearer.

"Only a little spell would be enough to knock her off her feet… Although even the weakest of my spells would hurt her considerably…"

Why was he feeling so helpless all of a sudden?

"So you are a coward… Thought so…" she said with contempt.

"Leah, stop provoking me. I don't want to hurt you and I know that you don't want to hurt me…"

"Are you so sure?" Shocked, Golbez suddenly realized how the fabric of his shirt was cut… Only moments later it was his flesh--

"Leah!" He tried to get up once again, causing the point of the sword to penetrate his skin even more, cutting into his chest dangerously close to his heart.

Leah was looking down on him with cold eyes. "Maybe you even want to die?" The words sounded like poisoned sugar…

"Stop this!" The red swirl in Golbez grew, carmine-pure anger mixed with the vermilion pain Leah was inflicting on him.

"Just a spell and she'll stop… I can't die now…"

He could feel the magical energies building in him, driven by rage - he knew that he only had to snap his fingers to unleash a spell… And it would be powerful…

"Too powerful…"

"Maybe I want to kill you because such evil as yours needs to be eradicated…" Was she serious? And what was he waiting for? Of course she was serious--the biting steel hadnow nearly reached his heart, the pain was slowly consuming him; he had not known that a simple cut could hurt so much, even now as the sword had yet only reached the top of his skin. But his heart--

"Stop… at… once…." The rage inside got stronger now, blurring his thoughts - there was only pain and hate, bright red and dull black, sucking him in -- he balled his fists, ready to unleash his most powerful spell:

"ME--"

"It will kill her…"

"--TE--"

"She will be gone - like Dawn…"

"…"

He never spoke out the final syllable, but watched helplessly how the sword was inexorably reaching its destination.

"Why?"

The roaring of the wind, the crashing of the waves and the beating of his heart in his ears, Golbez closed his eyes, awaiting the last pain he would ever have to feel…

"Hey! Leah! Golbez! What are you doing there?" A familiar voice mixed with the sounds around him.

The pain didn't come...

"You two are alive!"

As Golbez opened his eyes, Leah was smiling at him. She drew the sword back and held out a hand for him to take. "See, I told you wouldn't hurt me."

Golbez was staring palely and totally blankly up at her face, and at eyes which were once more filled with humour and warmth.

His throat felt dry: "You tried to kill me…" It sounded unbelieving.

The woman above him broke out into laughter once more. "Did you really believe me? Good. I just wanted to show you that you wouldn’t hurt me even if your life depended on it."

"But… the blood…" Golbez looked down at himself, where his black shirt had been cut.

"I had to make it look genuine, didn't I? But it's only a little cut. It'll heal in time."

In fact, as Golbez looked closer, there was only a little blood dripping out - though the cut had hurt a lot more….

"I wonder why…"

"Why aren't you answering us? What's that for a welcome?" Tristan had reached the group by now, a very tired looking Edward behind him.

"Oh, I'm so happy that you two are well, though we figured out that much as we saw the hovercraft!" Leah flung the sword aside and could not help but to hug Tristan. She would have done the same with Edward, but the man shied away.

"What has happened here?" the bard asked nervously, not taking his eyes from Golbez on the ground. "Did he attack you?"

"No. It was just a game. And I won!" Leah smiled. "It was nothing - now that we're all together again, let's look for the cave, okay?"

Both Tristan and Edward were still eyeing their companions with confusion, especially as Golbez hadn't said anything until now. However, maybe this silence was just the reason why they didn't seem to mind the quick change of subject too much.

"We have found the entrance to a cave in that direction. Follow us." Tristan led the way.

"Coming in a second!" Leah nodded and stretched out her hand once more - this time, Golbez let himself be helped up as if in trance. He noticed once more by Leah's pull that this woman was not weak, at all.

"Are you angry?" she asked.

"Angry? She attacked me with a sword, teased me and then asks if I'm angry?" Fact was, though, that he wasn't… He was only feeling… relieved, though he hadn't yet figured out about exactly what or whom. It all had happened so fast…

"Of course I'm angry," he lied. "What were you thinking? I was short of unleashing Meteo…" The words came out less furious and more worried than intended.

Leah had obviously remarked this as well and her only answer was another, nearly innocent smile.

"An innocence that doesn't suit her actions…"

"Weren't you afraid?" he asked, watching her attentively.

"I presumed that you were up to no good when you spoke these strange words, though I didn't know that you were about to cast such a powerful spell…" For a moment, she sounded worried. "But I looked into your eyes and knew that you wouldn't hurt me…"

Golbez knew that she was speaking the truth - still it was a truth he did not want to accept. "Why? Why were you so sure? What have you seen in my eyes?"

Leah shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because I remind you too much of Dawn… Or…" She trailed off, blushing slightly and for the first time, Golbez realized that he was still holding her hand. He let go of it immediately.

"You caught me by surprise with your actions and can be happy that you came out of it alive…"

"Truth is that you are the lucky one… Just one cut more and…"

"I should be more furious, but there's no time for that. Just don't test your luck again. The next time, you might find another expression in my eyes," he told Leah curtly.

The silver haired woman was looking at him with amused, sea-blue eyes. "I understand." Was there a giggle? Before Golbez could study her expression better, the woman had turned on her heels and tried to catch up with Tristan and Edward.

Golbez looked after her and slowly, his eyebrow rose. "She hasn't even apologized… She acts like nothing has happened…" To him, the whole experience would seem unreal, too--if it hadn't been for the slight burn on his chest. Had it really been only a test? Or had only Tristan's and Edward's appearance stopped her from finishing what she had begun?

"My first attempt at drowning you failed miserably…"

But she had saved him from the ocean, hadn't she? And if she really had been set on killing him, why did she take her time with the sword? With her sword skill it wouldn't have been a problem to kill him faster…

"Kill me…" Could it really be that a simple woman like her had nearly succeeded in killing the Master Wizard Golbez?

"You are an evil which needs to be eradicated…" Many people probably thought in such a fashion about him and in moments when the self-disdain got too strong and the guilt too suffocating, he was agreeing with them. Had this been the reason why he had not been able to unleash the Meteo spell? He knew that he was lying to himself and that he only had held back because he had feared for Leah's life; feared for her life because she reminded him so much of Dawn… Or--

Wave after wave of painful doubts mixed with unfamiliar emotions crashing over him; feelings which were much more frightening and hurting than any memories of his past had ever been…Golbez's mouth turned into a bitter smile:

"Maybe this is just the real punishment for my deeds and she knows that I deserve it…"